Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Five Quick Snippets

True quote, from an unnamed offspring of mine:  "Mom!  My poop smells minty!"

My sweet daughter, when asked who she sits by in kindergarten:  "I sit by one of the twins.  I don't know which one it is though - they have the same heads!"

I think I would like to be a dog.  What a great life.  Shadow lays on our bed, basically all day long.  He sleeps all sprawled out, leaving mass amounts of dog hair in his wake.  He arises when the mood strikes him, and also if he hears a loud car outside.  He poops 3-4 times a day (who can ever dream of being so regular?) and his biggest frustration is when his favorite tennis ball goes under the couch.  (Never mind that he is always the one who just shoved it there.)  The one drawback to being a dog is only eating two times a day.  That pretty much ruins it all.

Tonight in the bath, my 6-year-old daughter presented me a bubbly cup of bath water and proclaimed, "Aaaaand, here's a coke zero in styrofoam!" Think I have a not-so-secret addiction?

And finally, I have to tell you all something Super Duper Important.  Target has new carts.  And they are nothing short of uh-mazing.  They are the greatest carts in all of the land.  I am not a cart expert or a cart engineer, and I have no idea how they work and why they usually make such horrible rattly noises and vibrate one's hands until they ache, and in general do not cause a person great happiness.  But I am a shopping expert, and I can tell you this:  the new carts at my Target are sheer bliss.  Whilst pushing these heavenly carts, I felt as if I could run a marathon.  With this cart in front of me, gliding along, I truly felt as if the world were my oyster.  It was smooth, it was quiet, and it brought me great Joy and Happiness.  And I am aware that the Target cart engineers are not marketing morons, and these carts of beauty were not created by chance or without reason.  And I am okay with the fact that as I floated behind my glorious cart it is slightly possible that  I spent a few more dollars due to the euphoria I was experiencing.  Those few moments of cart-induced bliss were well worth it.

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