Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Talk about a superpower!

"Mom", said the boy, "Is the tooth fairy real?"

"Why do you ask?" I replied.

"Well, it just seems like a pretty big job to do."


"Yes, I mean how can she lift up the pillow and hold the money and put it under my pillow??"

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Why did the turkey cross the road?

We approached the intersection, my three youngest children and I, as we headed to the mall.

"Look, a turkey in the road!" I exclaimed, pointing.

"Turkey!" said my 2 year old.

As we waited for our green light, we watched in amusement as the turkey thwarted a nearby car from making a right turn. The passenger was waving something colorful out her window in an attempt to move the bird out of their way.

The kids and I laughed and the 2 year old pointed.

It was all fun and games, until the turkey ambled over to our car.

As he got closer, I started to edge forward, so to scare him away and keep him from getting in from of our car. As I began to move forward, the turkey quickly walked closer to our car, and got directly in front of the van. I couldn't see him, but we could hear him! "Gobble, gobble!"

I honked and honked, and all we heard was his exasperated gobble. Every now and then I saw his head pop up and his little wattle wiggle as he looked around. He would not move. I was beginning to think I would have to get out and try to shoo him away, but I wasn't precisely sure of his mental state.

About this time, my 7 year old starts crying. "What's the matter?!" I asked him absently, certain he was afraid his dear mother was going to kill the turkey in front of his very eyes.

"If the turkey doesn't move, we're never going to get to go to the toy store!", he replied.

So much for animal love. I don't see a future at PETA for this child.

Finally, after much honking, the (stupid) animal moved to the side of our car. I moved forward as quickly as I dared, fearful he would get in front of the van again. After about five minutes of turkey fun, we were able to finish our trip.

So why did the turkey cross the road? Well, as far as I know, he never actually did cross the road.
But it was obvious he had a death wish. Perhaps he heard Thanksgiving was coming and decided now was a good time to play that game he had always wanted to try - chicken.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Things We've Done Today

Though not exhaustive, this is a list of Things We've Done Today, in no particular order:

Went to church and Sunday School

Cleaned the kitchen floor twice in a matter of an hour due to spilled juice

Sang in two choirs

Said things to several children along the lines of: "Did you think it was a good idea to fling the pitcher around the kitchen?"

Visited a 100 year old house-turned-museum and said "Don't touch that!" and "Don't sit there!" many times

Watched 5 year old string out his piece of gum and place it around his neck as a necklace and show it to everyone joyfully

Vacuumed floor twice

Watched 5 year old have great difficulty trying to remove gum necklace

Ate wonderful chili made by someone else. . . making it taste even better

Googled "how to remove gum from skin"

Scrubbed 5 year old's neck with soybean butter and oil in a (finally successful) attempt to remove gum

Listened to 2 year old smile and say "Poopy in the butt!" more times than I'd care to admit

Removed countless pieces of toilet paper from the bathroom sink where the 5 year old had been working on his own gum-removal-home-remedies

Put children to bed

Hoped for some peace