Friday, October 17, 2014

Say again?

I realize I am a boring dresser.  I prefer black and brown and gray over most everything else.  I am exceedingly practical (and frugal!), so I like to buy things in neutrals so they can coordinate with lots of other pieces.  I'm not one for splashy prints, big jewelry or bright colors.

So when I walked downstairs this morning wearing this top,

my ten-year-old son said, "Mom!  You're not going to wear that to school are you?"

"Where should I wear it?", I asked.

Without missing a beat, he said seriously, "The casino!"

Instead of take his advice, I chose to teach preschool instead of gamble.  But if I ever decide to try out a casino, I know what to wear.

And while teaching preschool in lieu of gambling, this occurred:

My husband came down to visit the preschool classrooms (this is such a joy in my life - that my husband and 4/5 of my children are all in the building with me and I see them every now and again).  He ended up walking outside with me and my class briefly.  As he headed back in, one of my students asked why he had come out with us.

"Because he's my . . . ", I said to her, hoping she would say husband.

Instead, she cheerfully said, "Grandpa?"


I decided to hashtag because I think that hashtags are underused.  We need more exercises in word separation these days.  We need to spend more time sounding out unintelligible run-on words.  You're welcome.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Not feeling the love

And I gave birth to these people.

The other night we were at a very cold football game.  My 5-year-old daughter dressed herself and chose two pairs of pants - smart girl!  While we were in the bathroom at the game, she said, "Mommy, what if I wore 64 pairs of underwear?"

I replied, "64 pairs of undies would make your bottom awfully big!"

"Yes!" she said cheerfully.  "Just like yours!"

This morning as the kids and I got into the Suburban, my eldest daughter asked if she could back it out the garage.

"No way!", I said.  "I never could have done that at your age!"

From the back of the burb, I hear my 13-year-old son pipe up: "You can barely do it now!"

I asked my 14-year-old daughter how her day was.

With a smile, she replied, "Duller than a bag of yous!"

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Movie Madness

Today, my children conspired to ruin me.  With their sneaky ways, they set out to upset my delicate emotional balance.

They watched The Fox and The Hound on Netflix.

For realsies.  I tried to suggest another movie, to no avail.  They had never seen this one, and it's a classic! "But Mommy will cry," I said.  "Mommy can't handle this movie."  "Don't watch it, Mom! " they said blithely.  As if.  I tried, truly I did, to do my chores with my ears closed.  But seriously!  Who can handle hearing "Best of Friends" and not fall apart?  Not this girl.  

After I had my weepy moment, I brainstormed a list:

Movies I Cannot Watch Without Bawling My Eyes Out:

Titanic (I have never seen this one - GASP!  Am I the only one on earth who hasn't?)
Steel Magnolias
Toy Story 3 (and 1 and 2 too)
My Girl
Lion King
Schindler's List
The Fox and the Hound
Little Women
The Fault In Our Stars (I, of course, have not watched this and will NEVER watch it)
Les Miserables
The Help
The Perfect Storm

And I'm sure there are many, many more that have scarred me but I can't call to mind at this moment. Most, if not all, of these movies will cause me to have a Big Ugly Cry.  Sad, but true.  I've always been a crier, but it's really gotten out of control with each passing year.  It's pretty ridiculous.

Since I know this about myself, and try to fastidiously avoid movies that rip out my insides, I like to replace them with happy, feel-good movies.  Movies that make you smile, skip and sing a song.
So I bring you another list:

Movies That Make Me Happy:

You've Got Mail
Sound of Music
Catch Me If You Can
Goodwill Hunting
Sleepless in Seattle
Miracle on 34th Street
Princess Bride
Wedding Singer
White Christmas
Meet Me In St. Louis

This is just a small sample of movies that indeed do not cause me to weep, but to laugh!  And smile!  And twirl about the room (don't judge).  And really - who wouldn't prefer those things to all that gut-wrenching sadness?  

Which ones can you add to the lists?

Monday, September 29, 2014

Sound bites

If you were a fly on the wall, this is what you'd hear at our house:

Child, staring at the open fridge, aghast:  "MOM!  This is a food graveyard!"

Child, looking at his grades:  "I'm getting 'B's, Mom!  I'm an A+ man!"

"If Papa hadn't played for the White Sox, I wouldn't be standing right here before you!"  True statement.

Boy, when prompted to say something kind about his brother (said seriously with no hint of irony):  "Well, he threatens to hit me with his sword, but he never does!"

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Facebook

Facebook.  If you're not a teenager, you might have a love/hate relationship with it.  If you're a teenager, you basically hate it, because it is just for old people.  I am an old people, so I fall into the first category.

On the one hand, it's great.  It connects you with old friends, family members, people you see on a daily basis, people you haven't seen since high school, and people you never knew much or cared about in high school anyway. You get to see pictures of everyone's kids and grandkids, dogs and cats.   It also keeps you abreast of the teensiest detailed news from basically everyone you've ever known (who clipped her toenails today?  got it.  who is really ticked off that The Bachelor is not actually in love with the girl of his dreams? check.)

But on the flip side, it is a total time drain, it promotes drama and inflammatory statements and comments, it lends itself to gossip, and it might make you feel superior or inferior to your friends.

It also presents you with all sorts of tricky situations.  Friend or unfriend the person who is flooding your feed with cat videos  - that is the question.  Tis nobler to block all posts from the neighbor of a former coworker you spoke to for 5 minutes once at a party.   And what about that persistent friend who constantly invites you play FarmVille or Candy Saga or Criminal Case?  Is is acceptable to block all such requests??

And then there are the many links that you know cannot possibly be true.  Has your friend ever heard of snopes?  Should you be the one to inform her of its existence?

Or how about - "Name a city without the letter "a" in it" Truly?  And the post already has 58 comments?  Why oh why would I fall into that black hole?

And my personal favorite kind of post:  "Repost if you love Jesus.  Ignore if you don't" (and all variations of the sort "Repost this prayer and God will rain blessings upon you in 18.5 minutes").  Really.  Really??  If I repost it, God will wait 18.5 minutes and then shower me with blessings?  Is my love for God dependent on my Facebook postings?  I know I love Jesus. I don't need to repost something to prove it to myself or God (or all my friends).  And are God's blessings so finite that he might not deign to bless me unless I repost?  How demeaning to the God of the universe!

So why oh why, do we continue to post and read?  I use Facebook because I do like to see pictures of my friend's kids, and hear their big news announcements (we're pregnant!  we're moving!).  I smile when I read about an answered prayer and I pray when I read about a tough situation a friend is facing.  And I even like to hear about the little things.  Thanks for sharing your life with me!  I like to know!  I can skip the drama and Farmville, but your baby rolled over?  Yes!  I'm celebrating with you!

Cheers, Facebook friends!  I'm so glad the internets keep us connected! :)

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Oh, how the years go by!

Two teenagers in the hooooouuuse!  My second-born child turned thirteen today.  It's hard to believe it has been 13 years since his birth.  I brought him home to an 18-month-old daughter and life was crazy.  It was good and sweet, but full.  It seems like a lifetime ago.  Now he sounds like a man and is taller than me.  He is on the threshold of young man, and it was just yesterday that he was a babe-in-arms.  Oh how the years go by!  We had a birthday dinner for him today, and nary a birthday can pass without this story being brought up (click on the link if you'd like to read about it).  

This weekend has been busy.  I've been home (which I've come to treasure now that I'm working), but busy doing all the chores I can't seem to find time to during the week.  How ever do moms work full time?  I truly think they are super-women!  I am working to find the balance of working three days and taking care of my family.  I'm finding my way with it, with the help of my husband and kids.  This evening, as I was pondering my oldest son's birthday and entrance into the teens, I lay down and cuddled with my youngest.  She, who turned five this summer, still enjoys a cuddle and a back rub.  So there I lay with her, listening to the greatest lullaby CD ever made (click here to purchase any of the three volumes - you will not be disappointed, whether or not you have children), rubbing her still- tiny back and curled up next to her, overwhelmed with the changing times.  I am easily overwhelmed, you know dear reader, but truly!  Here she is, the last of my babes, already a big girl at five, and I have two teenagers now,  on the cusp of being young adults.  And oh!  My heart was heavy!  Life is good, and this older-child stage is actually quite fabulous!  But - the babies!  Those years of having little ones underfoot have passed by so quickly.  It didn't feel so at the time, but the saying "The days are long but the years are short" is so very accurate.  

And the years continue to fly by.  We're going to blink and the kids will be traipsing off to college.  Life is changing every moment, and if you know me, you know change is a wee bit (read: incredibly) hard for me.  But I take comfort in the fact that these children, given to us for a short time, are their Father in heaven's.  That He loves them more than I do (that seems near impossible!), and cares for them in every stage.  We are raising these children with the chief goal of getting them into heaven.  And though my heart sometimes has trouble catching up with the rapid pace of their growth, I know that with each day they are growing stronger in their faith and closer to their Savior.  And how can I be mournful when I remember that?

Saturday, September 20, 2014


"I love the sweet smell of hot peanut butter!"

"Take the plum out of your shirt, please."  (You can guess who said this - it could be cross-blogged under the title "Phrases I never thought I'd utter)

"I don't need to take a shower!  I took one two days ago!"

One of my boys was struggling with some friend issues. While we were driving home from school,  he was lamenting about how this friend wasn't being nice to him.   I was listening to him pour his heart out, when I heard my 5-year-old daughter pipe up with "Maybe you should just draw him a picture!".  Repeatedly, she happily chirped her sage advice as he continued his lament.  Finally, I gently suggested that drawing a picture might not solve this particular dilemma.  But I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try!


I saw someone wearing a banana clip the other day.  I felt like you all needed to know this.