Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas Past, Part III

From my blog, December 6, 2009.

I took the kids to see Santa yesterday (on Saturday - I realize I am insane). When we finally got up to him, my 3 year old wanted to go first.

"Hello there!" said Santa. "What would you like me to bring you for Christmas?"

Without missing a beat, A said, "A pencil sharpener!!"

Santa paused for a moment, and said that in all his years, he didn't think he had ever heard that Christmas wish. Leave it to one of my kids!

When he was done talking to A, he turned to I and said, "And what would you like, young man? An ink pen?"

Who knew Santa had such a sense of humor!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

voices in his head

Conversation between me and my 5 year old:

Me: I have told you too many times. Do your laundry now. 5, 4, 3, 2 . . .

Boy: Mom! The devil's telling me not to, but I was just about to kick him in the head and do what you said!

Me: Okay. Give him a kick and go do your laundry.

Boy: (kicking himself in his own head)

Me: Why are you kicking yourself?

Boy: (patiently) Because the devil's in my head!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Out of the mouths of babes

My 5 year old son at bedtime prayers last night: "Dear God, thank you for the whole universe."

My husband: "Son, I know that covers everything, but don't you think you should be more specific when you talk to God?"

He tried again: "Dear God thank you for the whole universe. Please help me be more specific. Amen."

Friday, December 16, 2011

Christmas Past, Part II

This post is from December 4, 2008, and is about my now 7 year old son. He still enjoys singing and praising Jesus!

Make a joyful noise!

Last night was my 4 year old's Christmas program. He was beside himself with excitement beforehand. He got all decked out in his Christmas black and red, and even allowed me to wet his hair down a bit.
The church was packed, but if I sat up very tall, I could just barely see him. Thankfully, he is one of the tallest kids in preschool! He sang and sang his little songs. That is, he sang/shouted his songs. You know what I mean. In every school program, there is one kid you can hear above the rest. This kid is really into praising Jesus. Well, as we found out tonight, it turns out that is our child. We were in the back, and my husband and I exchanged several glances as we heard his voice quite clearly.
I think I could have heard him in the parking lot. I had tears in my eyes.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Christmas Past, Part I

From my blog, December 15, 2008 (note that I was in the throes of morning sickness, hence my position):

Come again?

We were putting the decorations on our tree last week (well, my husband and children were - I was watching from the couch), and my husband asked one of the children about an ornament he was holding. It was a bunch of grapes, and he was asking the child what Bible story it was associated with.

The child said with exuberance, "It is because Jesus is King of the Juice?"

Thursday, December 8, 2011

My happenin' nightlife

A recent night-in-the-life of mammamilk:

10:15 I finally sit down to watch an in-progress episode of Law and Order.
10:45 My 7 year old son arrives in the family room, sleepy and out of sorts.
10:49 My son glances up from cuddle spot in my lap to see a gun on the TV.
11:00 We go up to bed and I reassure son who is concerned about seeing a gun.
11:10 Though I am tired and should go to sleep stat, I glance through Facebook on my phone.
11:25 I go to sleep (with my 11 year old in bed with me - did I mention my husband was out of town on this particular night?).
12:30 7 year old is awakened by a dream (presumably a bad one, due to my less-than-stellar-parenting skills re: Law and Order glimpse).
1:30 My 2 year old comes in. I take her back to her rocking chair, where she sleeps. (Beds are not for sleeping in! They are for storing stuffed animals! Haven't you heard?)
3:20 My 2 year old visits again. I try putting her in bed with my older daughter and me. She is restless and leaves.
3:26 Though I desperately don't want to get up, I get up to find out where she has gone. I find her sleeping on the hallway floor. I hope for the best and go back to bed.
3:45 She's baaaack! I pull her into bed with me, where I notice she is making suspicious noises. I rush her to the bathroom, where she attempts to vomit (but doesn't have much to get rid of).
4:10 I fall asleep next to my daughters, who are both sleeping now.
4:16 More attempted vomit, which I was prepared for and caught in a towel.
4:31 I fall asleep.
4:45 Yes, a third time, more dry heaves.
5:00 Sweet baby K is in a deep sleep next to me and I fall asleep.
5:16 The smoke alarm chirps for low battery. I am not kidding.
5:45 My 10 and 5 year olds come in, wanting to get up. My 10 year old is irate about waking up so early all the time, and demands answers about why he can't sleep past 5:15.
6:15 The whole house is awake. I struggle to the shower.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.