10:15 I finally sit down to watch an in-progress episode of Law and Order.
10:45 My 7 year old son arrives in the family room, sleepy and out of sorts.
10:49 My son glances up from cuddle spot in my lap to see a gun on the TV.
11:00 We go up to bed and I reassure son who is concerned about seeing a gun.
11:10 Though I am tired and should go to sleep stat, I glance through Facebook on my phone.
11:25 I go to sleep (with my 11 year old in bed with me - did I mention my husband was out of town on this particular night?).
12:30 7 year old is awakened by a dream (presumably a bad one, due to my less-than-stellar-parenting skills re: Law and Order glimpse).
1:30 My 2 year old comes in. I take her back to her rocking chair, where she sleeps. (Beds are not for sleeping in! They are for storing stuffed animals! Haven't you heard?)
3:20 My 2 year old visits again. I try putting her in bed with my older daughter and me. She is restless and leaves.
3:26 Though I desperately don't want to get up, I get up to find out where she has gone. I find her sleeping on the hallway floor. I hope for the best and go back to bed.
3:45 She's baaaack! I pull her into bed with me, where I notice she is making suspicious noises. I rush her to the bathroom, where she attempts to vomit (but doesn't have much to get rid of).
4:10 I fall asleep next to my daughters, who are both sleeping now.
4:16 More attempted vomit, which I was prepared for and caught in a towel.
4:31 I fall asleep.
4:45 Yes, a third time, more dry heaves.
5:00 Sweet baby K is in a deep sleep next to me and I fall asleep.
5:16 The smoke alarm chirps for low battery. I am not kidding.
5:45 My 10 and 5 year olds come in, wanting to get up. My 10 year old is irate about waking up so early all the time, and demands answers about why he can't sleep past 5:15.
6:15 The whole house is awake. I struggle to the shower.
I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.