You save me thousands of dollars every year. (I could stop right here and this would be a sufficient poem, having summed up the most important point of all).
You never leave me gasping at the register, shocked at the subtotal (like I do, perhaps, at Target sometimes. . .though I do love you, Target, truly I do).
You ask me for a quarter for your carts, ensuring that no cars are dented by runaway carts, and that prices stay low by not hiring a cart-boy (or girl).
You give me the quarter back at the end of my visit, a pleasant little gesture.
You save me ridiculous amounts of money. Did I say that already?
You carry very few name brands, and are therefore able to provide deep discounts on the Aldi product line. Your suppliers, however, are often the very same as the national brands (I had a friend who spotted the Dean's milk truck delivering to your store).
Your checkout process is lightning fast, due to the fact that each product has multiple UPCs printed.
You don't provide bags, we bring our own, therefore cutting down costs and encouraging recycling.
You don't accept credit cards, thereby pay no retailer card fees, thereby saving me more money.
You carry a huge selection of gluten-free and organic products! Everyone can be happy at Aldi!
Your average store has only 6-8 employees, and you pay them much higher than people in comparable positions in other stores. Good for you!
You are cousins with the revered Trader Joe's. Everyone should realize you are just awesome by association!
Your low costs give my family more disposable income, to spend on the important things, like say, the electric bill, or a special broom to sweep up all the dog hair.
Your employees are friendly! This seems to be a rare commodity these days.
Oh how I love thee, Aldi, you with all your money-saving ways! Thank you for being my weekly destination!
And I close with this wee verse to all of mankind:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Aldi saves our budget,
Let it save yours too!