Let's Dish!

Our dishwasher stopped working several days ago, and I had a repair man out today to diagnose the issue.  He was a very nice man, who I paid $85 to tell me that the motor is bad and will cost $400. 

Sigh.

A new, basic model is about that price, so it seems unlikely that we will put that much money into this one (which is only 3-4 years old!).  So now we will be thinking about getting a new one I suppose.

But since the repair man left this morning, I've been thinking about doing dishes.  At the sink, the old-fashioned way.  And perhaps I'm romanticizing this chore, but doing the dishes several times a day doesn't sound like the end of the world to me.  Doing the dishes by hand can:

• create opportunities for conversation.  Some of my best holiday memories as an adult are those of doing dishes with my extended family.  We laugh, talk and spend time together over the hot soapy water.  When we go camping, the kids/adults assigned to dishes each night often end up messing around, laughing and having fun.  
• take me down memory lane.  Growing up, we didn't have a dishwasher, so my sister and I dutifully washed and dried them each night.  Drying was the much preferred chore (because sometimes if mom and dad weren't paying attention, you could skip the chore, and let them air dry).  I can have countless memories of my sister and I at the sink.  When we used to whine and beg for a dishwasher, my dad, ever the comedian, would say "Why do we need a dishwasher?  We have two beautiful dishwashers already!". 
• create opportunities to serve.  When we were first married, my husband and I lived in an old upstairs converted apartment.  It had been converted ages earlier, and had no dishwasher -- only a shallow one-basin sink.  Doing dishes was a tedious chore in that ancient kitchen, and one I put off often (I have changed a lot since then, regarding what I can handle being left on the kitchen counter!).  One Saturday we had a large group over for dinner, leaving a mess in the kitchen.  For some reason, we didn't do the dishes on Sunday (re: apparently I didn't care about a mess back then!!), and when I left to teach and my husband left for classes on Monday morning, they were still sitting there, taunting me.  All day long, I kept thinking of those dishes, lying in wait for me when I got home.  But when I arrived home after a full day of teaching middle schoolers, the kitchen was clean, and all the dishes washed and put away.  My husband had had some unexpected time in his day and was able to get them done. Seeing that clean kitchen was like a Christmas gift to me!
• provide some quiet time for contemplation.  Over the last few days, I've found doing all the dishes by hand to be somewhat therapeutic.  Just as I feel about folding laundry, I haven't minded the repetition and the moments for quiet retrospection.  
• provide quality time with my children.  As I said earlier, doing the dishes can provide opportunities to talk.  Every time I have washed a batch this week, I've grabbed the nearest child and had him/her dry them with me.  And each time, we've chatted - sometimes about nothing important but other times about weightier things.  I look forward to more conversations like these, and of course, more laughter -- always so much laughter.

I'm sure in a week or two I'll be weary of hand washing dishes for 6-7 people multiple times a day.  I may be ready to beg a Best Buy employee to give me a good deal on a new dishwasher.

But until then, I'm going to relish the opportunities doing the dishes provides.

Four Teenagers in the Hooooouse (second edition)

Last summer, my fourth child had his 13th birthday, thereby bestowing on our family the honor of having four teenagers in our family. 

Does that sound terrifying?  I suppose it could be!  But it hasn't been.

It's been awesome.

And the four-teenager-run is about to come to end, never to happen in our family again (we will miss it by about 10 months with the last four kids). 

I have to say, I'm a little sorry to see it go.  Before we had teenagers, when we were in the throes of diapers and tantrums and toys underfoot constantly and no sleep and chasing toddlers and general exhaustion, everyone said "Oh, just wait till you have teenagers!", with an air of impending doom. 

But people, I'm here to tell you: there has been no doom impended upon us, only joy*.  Having teenagers has been a learning experience, to be sure.  I've learned:

• how funny my children are! I never dreamed these little people we created would make me laugh so. dang. much.  They crack me up with their crazy voices and accents and commentaries.  Regardless of what we're doing, their antics are likely to have me in tears.
• to change my dinner table expectations.  Dinner at our house is a sight to behold.  Some kids are stealthily feeding the dog, other kids are asking philosophical questions, others are laughing with a sibling across the table and others might be simply talking louder than the sib next to them. It's loud and crazy and fabulous.
• to appreciate them for who they are.  As the kids get older, their perspectives are becoming more pronounced, and I am learning to embrace how they think and look at life.  My husband and I continue to shape, teach and direct them, but more and more they are making decisions on their own.  It's been so lovely to watch them turn into independent young people.
• how grateful I am.  Every day, every moment is a gift.  When the kids were young, I often felt like I was lucky to be keeping my head above water.  Now, though life is at full tilt all the time, it's different.  I am able now, because I see the end of the family years looming ahead of us, to better appreciate all the beauty I see in front of me.  Every vacation, holiday, game night, and special dinner feels weightier to me.  While I always knew my children were a blessing, as they get older, I more fully see the gifts that they are to us.  

Next month, my eldest daughter will turn 20, and a new era of parenting will be upon us; parenting young adults.  A new set of skills will be required of us.  It's always hard for me to let go and accept change, but at the same time, I'm excited about this next chapter ahead too.  The last 20 years have been full of joy and blessings, and I know God will continue to give us just what we need in the years to come.

*Well, okay, not 100% joy all the time, because they are still indeed humans, and therefore tend to be peskily sinful.