Jammin' Boyz

The Post Wherein I Show You My Boys' Spotify List (in part) and Pontificate on Each Song:

Smooth Grandmama:  This is a parody of Smooth Criminal, by Apologetix.  It is pretty funny, as many of their songs are.  Including lines such as "Granny karaokes to old tapes of Sandy Patty" and "Granny causes road rage, in slow lanes, she's no Andretti".  Smooth Grandmama basically asks you to repent and ask Jesus into your heart while making your head spin trying to catch all the fast-paced lyrics.

I'll Make a Man Out of You: From Mulan.  The girls were watching this movie several months ago and the boys latched onto this song.  In a big way.  So sing along with Donny Osmond we have.  The refrain is the title line, but one of my boys prefer to sing "I'll make a man from your poo!"

Gangnam Style:  I don't really have words for this one.  Not a big fan.  At all.  But my favorite part of this song is linked here, in this previous blog post.  Lots of crazy and strange dancing when this one comes on.

What Does the Fox Say:  Oh my, oh my.  If we have heard this song 10 times, we have heard it 100. I only wish I was joking, but that is the sad, sad truth.  My eldest has played this song over and over and over.  I can sing harmony like nobody's business here, and I know ALL the possible noises a fox can make, just in case that ever comes in handy in real life.

That Snail is Fast:  From the movie Turbo.  It's relatively catchy, actually, waxing eloquent about how speedy Turbo the snail is.  I haven't seen the movie, but apparently that snail is fast.

Another One Bites the Dust:  Ok, it's Queen.  Need I say more?  This one passes muster.

Fallen Kingdom:  A Minecraft song, to the tune of Coldplay's Viva La Vida.  I love Coldplay's version, so even though strange and alien lyrics are being blared out of the computer's speakers, I loudly counter with the proper lyrics.  This makes me happy.

Several Other Minecraft Songs:  I don't know their names and I don't care to.  I'm sure they have names, but they don't deserve a shout out here.  They make my head hurt.

Eye of the Tiger:  Back in the day, I loved this song.  But over the last several years, it has been  a theme song around this joint, which has causes it to lose its luster.  Sorry Survivor.


It goes without saying that I sing the lyrics to all these songs, regardless of my like or dislike of them.  As I mentioned above, I also sing harmony when appropriate.

A Rose By Any Other Name

My children take great pleasure in changing the settings on my iPhone. I frequently find my screen's wallpaper changed (to a pic of the child in question of course), icons moved around to suit the current user, my ringtones reset to annoying tunes. . .you get the idea.

But their favorite pastime, the piece de resistance, is changing Siri's nickname for me.  I have been called a variety of names, but the last two take the cake.  First, my eldest daughter changed it to Poupee, which cracked me up every time I saw it.  We took to giving it a French pronunciation and accent whenever we used it in casual conversation (which of course we did often).  But a few weeks ago, my middle son changed my nickname to I like pooping.  I'll tell you what, I couldn't change it.  Because every time I saw an email thread referencing me as I like pooping, it made me laugh.  A lot.  And really, who doesn't like pooping?

But today I was talking to Siri and asking her to text someone, and she said to me "Thank you, I like pooping, I'll make a note of it!" It caught me off guard and I found it most comical.

I can't quite bring myself to change it.  Every time I see it (or hear it), I smile and think of my silly son.

**And now, since the children are reading over my shoulder, they have changed it again.  I should probably have stricter rules about who is allowed to touch that thing.**

Carrot Top

I recently read an article full of interesting little-known facts about redheads.  Being a redhead, I found it most interesting.  And since I read it on the internet, it must be true.  Among the "facts" I found are these:

Redheads have less hair on their heads.   I find this incredibly hard to believe in my case.  I have enough hair for 5 people, and I would be willing to share, especially in the hot summer months.  In the winter, it is rather like wearing a hat all the time, which is actually rather helpful.

Redheads don't go gray.  LIE.  I am already getting streaks, far before my time, being that I am only 40 years young.  I am not sure what to do about these errant grays, either, having never dyed or highlighted my hair.  So far, I plan to leave them alone until I am driven to a point of action.  Or perhaps I will not be, and will embrace my age gracefully.

Red hair and blue eyes is the rarest combination in the world (1%!).  Okay, this is me.  And my best friend from high school.  And, according to my FB feed when I posted this quiz, several other of my FB friends.  SO - either I am drawn to other amazingly rare people by some strong magnetic force, or perhaps it is not as rare as the article indicates.  I did suggest to my husband that I have not been treated heretofore as the rare creature that my DNA dictates.

They're more sensitive to thermal pain.  I'm not exactly sure what encompasses thermal pain, but I can tell you that I have a low pain tolerance.  Or I'm just a wienie.  But I know that when I mentioned this one to my husband, he started nodding and rolling his eyes.

This article, written in the UK, also referred to redheads as gingers.  I can't exactly tell you why, but I really dislike that term.  Don't question me - I am a rare creature, prone to erratic opinions and feelings.

A couple of interesting facts I have observed about redheads over the years:

They cannot wear the color red well.  Or yellow or burgundy.

We will be extinct by the year 2060, per my one of my children.

We have a certain affinity for Annie and Anne of Green Gables.  Well, that might just be me.  I dearly thought I should have been cast as Annie in the 1980s movie, and I was a certain kindred spirit with Anne Shirley.

And, according to my beloved grandma, circa 1985, we have designer genes.

TORO!

Last night at dinner we were discussing our upcoming plans to visit Yellowstone National Park.  My husband was getting the kids pumped up about all we will see, including all the wildlife.  The kids started shouting out (and yes, shouting is what I mean - no one speaks reasonably when excited in our house - just keepin' it real) different animals they hoped to see.

"I wanna see a lynx!"

"I hope we see a buffalo!"

One of my dear children was apparently concerned about seeing a more vicious animal, for he shouted out:

"I'm not packing any red shirts!"

Back for the Attack (well, getting there slowly)

Last Tuesday night, I cleaned out the game cabinet.  I found all sorts of games to get rid of and made the cabinet look much better.  My dear hubby took the kids upstairs to put them to bed and I stacked up all the games in my arms to take them downstairs.  In lieu of making two trips, I managed to balance all of them in my two hands.  Then I headed down to the basement.

And changed the future (not to be dramatic or anything).

As I neared the bottom of the steps, my slippered foot slipped out from under me, causing my legs to fly up in the air and me to land on the step behind me.  It seems all of my weight hit the step in one place on my lower back.

After calling pathetically for my husband two floors above, I managed to get to the first floor, where he heard me.  We got to the couch, where I was still harboring the delusion that I just got hurt and wasn't injured.  After much discussion, we decided to wait until the next morning to go to the doctor, where the X-rays showed nothing was broken, thank God.  I just suffered severe bruising to the tissue in one localized spot.

And so, my love affair with the recliner (part two) began.  For the better part of the last week, I have sat in the recliner.  Only Saturday did I really start to be up a bit more, and each day I am glad to report has been incrementally better. I can finally tell I am beginning to heal.  Still very sore, but not excruciating anymore.

Some of my takeaways from this experience:

• Make multiple trips to the basement.  Though I wasn't holding anything heavy, my arms were too full to grab the banister when I slipped.  I have certainly done dumber things (like carrying way heavy boxes), but I have resolved to be more cautious on the stairs.  I would prefer to never experience something like this again.
• Law and Order has been on for a seriously long time.  I have been watching enough episodes to make my eyes bleed, as nothing else (even reading, oddly) has sounded appealing.  The last couple of days I have watched the oldest episodes, including the first season from 1990.  It has made me strangely nostalgic for those times - the fashions, hairstyles, the dated computers.
• Your back affects EVERY part of your body.  Well, almost.  Leaning slightly, flexing my foot, scooting to the side in the chair. . .all of it and much more made my back hurt.  
• I make some ridiculous sounds when I am in a lot of pain.  I was annoyed at myself even as I was making them right after the fall.
• My family and friends are amazing.  I already knew this, of course, but it was shown to me again through acts of love and kindness.  My parents promptly offered to come up for the weekend and ferry the children to and fro, do laundry, grocery shop - you name it.  They were slaves to my crew, and smiled through the whole thing.  They were indispensable.   Other family texted and called daily checking up on me.  Friends brought dinner, ran errands, helped with kids and called and texted often, offering to help (something I have trouble accepting).  My husband and I were humbled by everyone's kindnesses to us.
• My husband is amazing.  Within minutes of settling me on the couch, he was delivering ibuprofen and a heating pad (which we later replaced with ice), thus beginning a period of servitude I am still experiencing.  He (while instructing the children to help out as well) did everything for me and the kids.  All my work and all of his.  He was tireless and loving in his care.  He was plenty busy with his own job, but made caring for me a priority.  I am blessed immensely by this man!
• God's hand is always present.  My fall could have been so very much worse.  God protected me from a broken bone or something even more dire.  My husband was home, which was a blessing beyond measure.  I have had continual dialogue with God, thanking him for protecting me from a far more serious situation.

Study Hall

I am a teacher by trade; my degree is in elementary education.  I taught for two years before moving to our current location and then eventually starting our family.  I fully understand the challenges summer break bring to retention of material.  How challenging it is for teachers over long gaps with no school, be it for breaks or vacations.  Children learn best when material is reinforced consistently.

I KNOW ALL THESE THINGS.

So due to the multiple snow days we have been having in the tundra  Midwest, the teachers at our school are putting in to practice the very things I just listed above. They are suggesting we work with our children during our time at home so that the children do not get further behind in their studies.

ONCE AGAIN, GOOD IDEA.  SMART PLAN.

But I need to let you in on something, dear reader.  I would make a horrible homeschooling mom.  And by horrible, I mean terrible, no-good very bad.  Each of the five children had several assignments their teachers asked them to work on over the course of today and tomorrow.  And I'll tell ya what - it was seriously hard to get it accomplished.  The children all had their lists to tackle this morning with chores, instrument practicing, reading etc.  The usual stuff.  But late morning assignments started trickling in via email, and things went a little haywire.  While I was making dinner for tonight, I was instructing one child to work on typing and another to draw a picture of what she had done during the snow days (she chose Daddy walking on stilts, something that has decidedly not occurred the last few days  -- ever).  And then switching gears and assisting piano practicing (which takes a monumental amount of patience), while encouraging another child to write his spelling words 2 times each.

Oh my.  Have mercy!  I am not cut out for this (a fact I most definitely already knew)!  I'm sure if I truly was homeschooling, we would have a much more structured routine and it would be somewhat easier.  But in our current situation, we are lacking in that department.  Tomorrow I will have a better attack on the situation, which will hopefully pull in a higher success rate.  We'll do our best.

In the meantime, I am going to watch reruns of Law and Order and eat cookies.  Tomorrow's a new day, yes?

Six Quick Snippets

1.  Snow Days.  We have had four already this month, and I have a sneaking suspicion we might have one or two more before the month is out! And here's the thing:  As a stay-at-home-mom, school days mean a little less crazy going on in the house.  The mornings and evening are nutty on school days, but that time between 8-3 is generally quieter and more peaceful, even if I'm just folding laundry and scrubbing toilets (blech).  And yet - I still get that excited flutter waiting to hear if school is called off.  Perhaps it is the fact that I spent 20+ years in school myself, plus teaching for a couple of years that causes me to still feel the thrill of seeing our school listed among the closed (or these days, it's getting a text and email!).  It's a complex thing, my emotional state.  Lots of kids home, loud, crazy and messy. . .but still - a SNOW DAY!

2.  Kitchen Aid Mixer.  If we're friends on Facebook, dear reader, then you already know my extreme euphoria over buying my new mixer.  I launched a two-question post on FB (that garnered more than a hundred responses) about which Kitchen Aid was the best, and what one uses the mixer for.  A day or two later, I have purchased online (with a Kohl's 30 percent off and Kohl's cash of course!) my new mixer.  I received it yesterday and have used it twice already.  I am in love.  It is a thing of beauty, so sleek and stylish, yet strong and utilitarian at the same time.  I foresee many baked goods in our future.  And also mucho weight gain.

3.  My son.  My dear youngest son, last night at bedtime:  I had just finished giving him his blessing and he said "Thanks, Mom."  For what, I asked.  "For taking care of me.  When I want juice, you give me juice.  When I want pancakes, you make me pancakes."  I hugged him close and he continued, "I basically wouldn't be alive with you and Dad taking care of me!"

4.  Downton Abbey.  My daughter and I love watching the story unfold together.  Our British soap, as my dad calls it (who also watches, I might add).  The characters, the sweeping landscape, the accents and the drama. . . delicious!

5.  I was in my hometown this week for a doctor's appt. for one of my children and I had the opportunity to drive down the street I grew up.  I drove slowly, taking in all the houses of people I once knew, the memories flooding back.  My old house doesn't look so good anymore, which makes me sorry.  My parents took such good care of it and it always looked nice - it is now shabbier and sadder looking.  But I pointed out all the rooms behind the front windows to the kids in the car and I could picture us all on the front porch or in the family room.  It has been several years since I had been down our street and I (who am quite prone to reminiscing anyway) really enjoyed remembering all the goodness of my childhood.  So many years ago, yet the memories were so close, so vivid.

6.  Sledding.  True confession:  I have been a parent for almost fourteen years, and I have NEVER, not ever, taken my kids sledding.  Nope, not once.  My dear husband has always taken them while I stayed home with whomever was the baby at the time.  Well, our "baby" is 4 1/2 now, and goes sledding too. . .and I still don't go.  I am not a fan (and by that I mean I HATE) of the cold, and my husband knows this, and always takes them.  He is there now, before the temps drop any further.  And I am sitting on the couch, under an afghan, with the laptop on my lap.