Tuesday, May 6, 2014

My Secret Skill

Since the inception of Facebook, I've noticed a strange phenomenon:

I know all my married Facebook friends' full names.

First name, maiden name, married name.  If I knew her pre-marriage, I now know her married name.  If I knew her only post-marriage, I now know her maiden name.  And when I think of her on Facebook, I think of her whole name.  Not just Jenny Johnson.  Now I know her as Jenny Smith Johnson.  And vice versa.

And, truth be told, sometimes when I see people in real life, I think of their full Facebook name.  There's something wrong with me, yes?  My best friend from 4th grade is no longer Amy Dobson.  Now she's Amy Dobson O'Neil.  

It's possible I need to seek help.  But I'm just sayin', if there was a contest for knowing someone's full name, I would kick some tushie.  I'm not sure who would be able to administer this test to me, except perhaps my sister.  And why spending any amount of time on this hypothetical test would be worth poo, I don't know. . .except, I would clobber the competition.  If there was any competition.  

So next time you run into me and I refer to you by your Facebook name, don't be alarmed.  I'm just training for my exam.  

**Names were changed to protect the innocent**

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