Thursday, March 11, 2010

Pronouns are for wimps!

Having had small children for 10 years now, I seem to have lost the ability to use pronouns. Young children understand dialogue much better in the third person (as in "Mommy said to brush your teeth!" or "Did Mommy give you a kiss?"). Pronouns just mix things up and confuse little ones just embarking on the English language.

Apparently, though, certain children in my household would prefer it if I switched back to first person. Take my eldest child, for example. Just the other day I said something along the lines of, "Mommy will help you with your homework in a minute". She looked at me imploringly and said, "I will help you!" I was momentarily confused. Will she help herself?!? Then I realized she was correcting my 2 year old grammar. Yes, I suppose my older children do deserve a mother who has full command of the English language, which decidedly includes pronouns.

I must say, though, in my defense, that I can't help myself. This has been a problem since my oldest was a mere baby (far before she ever could truly understand what I was saying, anyway!). I recall taking a shower when she was about 3 months old. My daughter was not even in the room with me, but in my mind, the pronoun-ectomy had already taken place. I dropped the soap on the shower floor and thought (thought - not spoke) "Mommy dropped the soap!". So you see, it's a lost cause. If, at three months of motherhood, I was thinking in third person, there's no hope.

So, if you are conversing with me and I lapse into third person, have pity. I really can't help myself.


farmbeachgal said...

Mommy completely understands. Mommy does it herself all the time.

Word of caution: be careful not to carry this linguistic habit into the bedroom.

mammamilk said...

Anne! Hilarious! Does Anne speak from experience?

Amelia said...

I'm right there with you, speaking in the 3rd person!

farmbeachgal said...

No, but I think if I did, it would be instant birth control. Nothing says sexy like "Come give Mommy a kiss".