Things I Just Don't Understand**

Among the many, many things that baffle me, I offer you these:

• The song Despacito: I don't know what they're saying (though I hear it's rather inappropriate), but it drives me crazy.  That is all.

• HGTV shows:  I saw the following meme, and it resounds with every fiber of my being --

House Hunters be like:

I rock climb for a living and my wife sells

umbrella insurance from home.

We have a budget of 1.3 million.

              Seriously.  Who are these people on these shows and what DO THEY DO FOR A LIVING? 'Cause sign me up!

• Video game controllers:  Until recently, to watch a video in our house, one's only option was to use the PS4, with a ridiculous giant game controller.  I had to push this random button to find the DVD section, then this button to play the video -- oh!  and don't forget before all that I had to remember to turn the controller on (using another unmarked button!). . . It was the absolute worst!  A friend of ours gifted us an extra Blu-Ray player they had last winter and I was overjoyed!  My teenage son said, "We don't need that mom, the PS4 plays DVDs and Blu-Rays!", and I was all like -- yes.  we.  do.  

• Books whose sole purposes seem to be to make mothers verklempt:  In the spirit of their forerunner, Love You Forever, books everywhere are apparently out to kick us sentimental moms right in the gut. With titles like Forever My Little Girl/Boy and If I Could Keep You Little, what's a mom to do?  Is breaking down in the Meijer aisle an acceptable answer?  I'm asking for a friend.

• Football:  The rules have been explained to me more times than I have ever had desire, but I just don't get it.  I also don't care about it, and I don't like it. Well, I do like the marching bands, and the concession stand food. So I suppose the sport itself is a necessary mean to provide those ends.  

**I hope you read the title in the spirit in which it was written - in Will Smith's voice, à la Parents Just Don't Understand, circa 1988.