Thursday, September 17, 2015

Get-away Car

We'll never make a good get-away car.  If you've just robbed a bank or committed some other heinous felony, please don't ask me and my entourage to hustle you away from the crime scene.  Because dollars to donuts, we'll get you arrested for sure.  A typical carline suburban-loading event goes something like this:

Me:  Hi boys!  Hi sweetie! Climb on over!  Get in!  Get in quickly!  We don't want to hold up the line!"

Kids: (yelling, pushing, shoving) "Get in!"  "Hurry up!" "It's my week for the front!" "MOVE it now!"  "Get your foot off my leg!" "Bye Josh!" "Ouch!" "Get your stuff off me!" "He won't move over!" "Bye Jack!"

Mixed in with this cacophony of beautiful music I hear questions and random excerpts of my children's days.  May I remind you, we are still in carline, and people are still behind me waiting to move forward.  So while there is pushing and yelling and tattling, I also have more than one person saying things like, "Mom, guess what happened today?" "Mom, did you go to the grocery today?" "Mom, can we get McDonald's for dinner?" "Mom, I have tons of homework - do we have plans tonight?"

And it's important to note, that the children are unable to move their bodies while they ask me these urgent questions.  So as we still sit in carline, I continue to try to urge the children to move into the burb and into their proper seats, while trying to smile pleasantly at the teacher loading my precious cargo.  

It's exhausting.  

So if you need to make a quick exit and were hoping we were the ones to provide it for you, look elsewhere.  I don't have time to help you get away.  I'm still sitting in carline.

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