Where is it? Is it under the recliner? Is it in between the couch cushions? Is it in the refrigerator? Is it (gasp!) in the drawer where it belongs?
Of course not! It is in none of these places.
Ah, the elusive remote. No matter where I last lay it, little hands hasten to move it far, far away. When questioned, they have "no idea" and "I don't know - I didn't have it last!".
And while we're on the subject, why will I spend seventeen minutes looking for it, when it would be much, much easier just to change channels by hand, the old-fashioned way? I'll tell you why: it seems inherently wrong to get up (for heaven's sake!) when I want to flip channels during commercials or boring parts. Heaven forbid I get a little exercise while being a couch potato.
Anyway, I think I need one of those little thingies that you attach to items so that if you misplace them you can track them quickly.
That, or fewer children.