Knock, Knock

Many years ago, when my oldest daughter was young, a tradition somehow began.  Our master bathroom shares the wall in her bedroom that her bed is next to.  She was always a bit of a night owl, and sometimes when I was getting ready for bed (since I am not a night owl), we would both be making noise on opposite sides of the wall.  

I don't remember the specifics, but we started knocking on the wall.  One of us would start - knock, knock, knock - which meant I love you. Then the other would knock back with four knocks, which meant I love you too.  Then we would each knock twice in succession, which meant Good night.  Every time I had this exchange with my daughter, my heart was happy.  I would be brushing my teeth, smiling and loving my girl.

When my youngest girl was older and her older sister was away at college, my husband and I started the same tradition with her.  And just like I felt with her older sister, those bedtime knocks (because she is also a night owl and I'm still decidedly not!) brought me such joy.  

For a couple of months this summer, my oldest daughter is home before she starts her teaching job.  The girls have a loft in their bedroom, so both beds share our bathroom wall.  The other night I was getting ready for bed and wasn't sure if the girls were still awake.  I knocked on the wall three times, wondering if one of them was still up and would answer.  Almost immediately I heard three knocks from the top bunk and three knocks from the bottom and my heart was seriously so happy.  I responded with my good night knocks and then zoomed into their room to give them hugs.  

It's the little things in life, and both my girls knocking on the wall to tell me they love me is actually a really big thing. :) 

Glory!

In late January of 1995, I went on my first date with my husband.  The next day, he asked me if I'd like to meet his parents, who were visiting him that day from his home town.  Of course I said yes -- I really liked this guy and thought he might be "the one".  Spoiler alert -- he was! :).  So on that day in 1995, I drove to meet them, blasting ABBA on the drive, and feeling nervous.  Later that night, I wrote in my journal (back then in college I called it my diary, but let's not quibble over semantics).  And I wrote something along the lines that his parents were really nice, his mom talked to me quite a bit, but his dad was pretty quiet.

I don't know if I knew then, but I think maybe I did.  I think I knew that I would marry this man, and these wonderful people would become my in-laws, but truly, they would become another set of parents, no "in-law" necessary.  And for the last 27 they have been just that -- parents, loved ones, confidantes, mentors, advice-givers and just downright amazing, wonderful people.

A little over a month ago, my father-in-law went home to Jesus.  And over the last month, I have thought of him so much (and dreamed of him so many times).  I've pondered who he was and how much he was loved by so very many people.  And as I said to my sister-in-law, who also married into this dear family, "We won the jackpot."  We could never, in our wildest dreams, imagined an in-law family better than the one God called us into.  My husband's mom and dad welcomed us both from the very start, and we always, always felt that we were part of the family, again no "in-law" needed.

So I've been thinking so much of my dear father-in-law, and who he was.  Here are just a few brief thoughts about this man I was privileged to call my family:

• He was funny!  He had a quiet sort of humor and would drop a one-liner now and then that always made me smile.
• He was a man of integrity.  In business, in raising his boys, in his faith. . . he always conducted himself in a way that was above reproach.  I am grateful for the way that he raised my husband - not always with a lot of flowery speech, but by quiet example.
• He was smart!  In so many ways I valued his opinion and appreciated his advice.  He knew a lot about a lot of things and was always a trusted advisor.
• He was generous. Oh, so generous.  Of time, of resources and with love.  More than once, he pressed a $100 bill in my hand unexpectedly and told me to "just spend it on you".  He sent my husband and I to LA to fulfill my life's dream (don't judge me, friends) and see The Price is Right before Bob Barker retired.  He never tired of sharing and giving - to family, friends, his church and strangers.
• He was quiet!  As was mentioned in his funeral sermon, he was a man of few words.  Therefore, when he spoke, you listened.  He was wise and funny as I said earlier, and though he reserved his words (there are plenty of us around who filled up the word quota at family gatherings), when he did say something, it was usually worth paying close attention to.
• He loved.  He loved his family fiercely, he loved his friends, he loved his church, and ultimately, he loved his Lord.  And those of us on the receiving end of his love were so much better for it.

And so now he is no longer here on earth, and there have been a lot of tears.  But I can honestly say, more than I ever thought possible, the vast majority of my tears are out of pure joy.  Pure joy for the full life he lived, and most importantly, for the glory that is his now with his Savior.  While we still struggle here on earth, he is dancing and singing in heaven (and probably in tune this time!).   

He is with Jesus.  And while we miss him here, nothing makes me happier for him. Our tears are tears of euphoria for Curt.  Glory is his!

The Week-ish in Pictures

 

My TTTT (two tier tower of tchotchke)  has taken on the Lenten season in its decor. Someone gave me the idea to do this last year and I really enjoy having it as a visual during the lenten season. Simple, yet full of reminders of the solemnity of this season.

This is the inside of the garage door at my parents' house.  The bottom starts with my parents' birth years represented on the license plates and then works upward with my sister's and mine and our husbands', then our kids' years.  My dad is pretty creative - a license plate family tree!

This, dear children, is called an adding machine. It is far superior to a calculator. 

This relic gets resurrected twice a year when we work on taxes and our housing allowance.  I have always been a whiz on a 10-key (if I do say so myself), and twice a year I practice my skills while adding up scads of numbers. One of my kids wandered by while I was in stern concentration and said "Wow - you're a machine on that thing!" What a marketable skill I possess. :)

This song came on Sirius the other day and I snapped a pic to share with my parents and sister.  Oh how we used to love this song! I had the sheet music when I was young and we'd often hum it around the house.  So lilting and pleasant - hearing it brought a smile to my face and fond memories of my childhood.

Shadow Tales - Last Edition

 I've been blogging now for 15 years, sometimes for my sake (gotta get the words out!), other times to share a thought about faith or parenting, and most of the time to preserve our family history.  The landscape of my blogging habits have changed as the years have passed -- I no longer can write about all the funny things my kids say (they still say them, but now they'd rather not share them with the whole universe).  I don't know what the future of this little corner will be, but I may now and then still share my thoughts and heart here, as I will do today, about our little pupper, Shadow.

I've blogged about Shadow here and here and here and scores of other times.  But this post isn't quite as silly or tongue-in-cheek about our furry family member.  A little over a week ago, quite unexpectedly, we had to put Shadow down.  While we are very thankful he is no longer in pain, we are missing him quite a bit around here.  Our house just isn't quite the same.  A few things we're missing about our pupper doggo:

• Our dishwasher pre-wash cycle.  Shadow very kindly and thoughtfully pre-washed all of our dishes as I loaded them into the dishwasher.  Now that he's gone, we have to hope the dishwasher can handle the food remains on its own.
• And in the dishwasher category, every time I put the dishwasher detergent in, I opened the under-sink cabinet.  This cabinet was SHADOW'S cabinet.  No matter where he was in the house, I swear he had a sixth sense about it and would make a beeline to me to receive his due for someone opening the cabinet -- a treat.  He basically got a treat every time I opened that cabinet.  
• Sharky Shadow!  Shadow had a very bad habit of counter-surfing (see below for things we aren't missing in his absence), and when we would eat dinner at the dining room table, Shadow would lurk about, his nose sniffing the air next to the table, hoping to pounce on whatever was on someone's plate.  From across the table, only his black snout could be seen, bobbing up and down like a shark's fin.  While it was a naughty habit, it always made us laugh.
• Kangaroo Shadow!  Whenever we would come home, Shadow was EUPHORIC at our arrival. He was wild with delight and bounced up and down, jumping quite high, causing us to nick name him kangaroo boy.  Sometimes he would try so hard to be good and sit for a minute, but after a sec, the excitement would get the better of him and he would be jumping up and down again until you put all your stuff down and petted and loved him.  Now when we come home, its quiet and no one seems interested in jumping up and down at my arrival.
• Playing bally!  Shadow looooooved his tennis balls and we have roughly 75 rolling around our house.  He would lovingly lick the furry thing as if it were precious, and if you threw the ball he'd run to get it, sliding all over the hardwoods.  He never seemed to learn how to play fetch though -- he was notorious for bringing it almost back to you, but not quite.  He liked to play hard to get and made you work at it to get it back.  My husband was his primary playmate.  The other thing about his tennis balls is that no matter how many balls were near him, if one was under the couch (or a bed or a dresser), that was the ONLY ball for him.  He would bark and bark until someone finally retrieved it for him.  Then he'd happily lick it for about five seconds and then lay down next to it.
• Allllll the love.  I have often said that no one loved me like that dog loved me.  I seemed to be his person (though he loved everyone), and if I was gone, he'd sit at the dining room window waiting for me to return, or look out my bedroom window and whimper.  He followed me around literally always -- and I always knew he was up to no good (chewing a sock or toy or pen) if he wasn't under my feet.  Since he passed, I look for him countless times a day - he was never far from me for long.

He was such a good boy, aside from his naughty behaviors, which we seemed to just take in stride as part of who he was.  As I referenced above, we aren't missing his counter-surfing tendencies, and we've all commented on how we are now living it up by placing our plates and food on the edge of the counter.  My daughter has left a few fidget toys on the floor too -- something that would never have been ok when Shadow was policing the territory.  

He was a big part of our family for the seven years he was with us.  We are thankful for all the joy he brought us during that time.  He was the best boy.

Gifts

As the year winds down and comes to a close tomorrow, I've been pondering 2021, as most people probably are doing.  Christmas and the end of 2021 didn't look exactly as we had planned, a truth that many families are experiencing in varying ways.  Every day this week, I've taken an early morning walk (it IS Christmas break, after all!), and on the walk, I've focused my prayers on all the good we've been given.  With each footstep, I reminded myself out loud this truth:  Gift.  Gift. Gift.  We have been given gift upon gift upon gift.  As I walk each day and pray, I've listed some of God's immeasurable gifts to us:

• family.  Though our holiday looked a little different than we planned, we are still rich in the love of family
• technology!  Facetime, texting, sending pictures digitally. . .so many ways to stay connected
• laughter.  Even amidst some changed plans, so much laughter
• home and all our needs taken care of
• a beautiful and gracious church family!  We are surrounded by love through our church family
• new traditions and memories. Our daughter's fiancee joined us for Christmas this year and it was wonderful to have him here for our celebrations
• good health. What a gift we have been given in our bodies.
• our newborn Savior.  Amidst changed plans and minor disappointments I have made many efforts to keep my eyes focused on Jesus and the abundance of gifts He's given to us -- most importantly, the gift of Himself.  Everything pales in comparison to His overwhelming love for us.  

Gift upon gift upon gift. 

With Age Comes Wisdom

They say with age comes wisdom.  I don't know how wise I'm getting in my old(er) age, but I do know that I have learned a few things over the years and also have gotten more comfortable with who I am.  Below are a few quotes and bits of wisdom I've adopted over the years and love to bestow on my family at opportune times. :) 

• Read the room.  I don't know how many times my oblivious children have asked an inane question during a phone call/intense conversation/crisis situation/parent dozing.  Look around and decide if now is the perfect time to ask if you can have a cookie.
• Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.  I know this one is a little cliche, but it rings so true.  We're always looking ahead and so easily miss what is right under our noses - these children, these moments, this life.  
• If you have something nice to say, say it! I've written about this before, and I still try to make it my mantra every day.  The cashier has beautiful hair, tell her!  Your colleague has a lovely way of making others feel comfortable, tell her!  Your husband makes you coffee every morning, thank him!  Seize the moment to be kind!
• A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.  I saw this on a sign in my college library and it has stuck with me.  Again, my precious offspring have often come to me with a wild look in their eyes because they need a protractor/snack for school/kleenex box (read about that one here)/special color shirt that they don't own. . .for tomorrow.   When asked how long they've known about said need, the answer is always days or weeks.  I am happy to help my children out with whatever they need, but plan ahead a bit, people.
• Do small things with great love. I have this sign in my kitchen as a daily reminder to take up all the small tasks I do for my family as gifts to them.  I so often do small things with great grumbling and annoyance.  I remind myself that these little things are how I show my family I love them.
• Know your audience.  I'm not sure how to sum this one up, but it boils down to thinking of the other person's feelings before speaking.  I've been on both sides of this - I once said "I'm starving" to a cashier, without thinking about the fact that she might know what it's like to actually be hungry (and she questioned me about it).  And I've been told by someone with a much larger expendable income lament that they hadn't taken an (elaborate) spring break trip in a few years (we've never taken one).  
• These are the good old days.  I recently bought a sign with this sentiment on it (my daughter has informed me that we have waaaaay too many signs with words, but I don't listen to that kind of crazy talk).  This phrase reminds me that I'll look back on this time (and indeed I already look back on our earlier parenting years this way) and realize that these are the good old days.  Now.
• Mail a hand-written thank you note!  We're big on thank you notes around here.  I think taking the time to write a personal note of appreciation is such a kind gesture.  When in doubt, always write a thank you!
• And finally, with great silly fanfare, I do what I want!  My kids are always telling me I should do this or do that, or wear this or don't wear that, and I am often heard saying, "I do what I want!" If I want to sing or dance or laugh at ridiculous things, I'm gonna do it.  If I want to wear something that my teens deem "special", I'm gonna do it.  If I want to hug my kids or check in on them a bit more often than they feel is necessary, I'm gonna do it.  

So there it is - "wisdom" from this late 40s mamma.  Take it or leave it!  But if you live in my house, you're going to be reminded of these things on the regular.  Hopefully these thoughts will help shape them into kind and loving people. :) 

Four Things I'm Loving Right Now

 Four things I'm loving right now, in no particular order:

1. Text threads!  My parents, my sister and I are all in a thread we've dubbed The Fab Four.  We text all kinds of stuff, silly and important, and it always makes me smile.  One of my kids just yesterday learned that we did not make up the name Fab Four.  The child was disappointed and vaguely annoyed at the Beatles, I think, for coming up with it first. 
   I'm also loving the text threads with my kids, near and far.  They are laugh out loud funny to me.  I am so very thankful for technology keeping us all connected over the miles!
2. Fall!!  Fall colors, fall candles and today, for the first time, crisp fall air! I never want summer to end, but this year, since summer keeps haaaanging on, I am ready!  Out with 80 degree temps and in with the 50s and 60s! And, while my children have told me I'm not really a redhead anymore (sniff, sniff - there goes part of my identity for 40+ years!), I still wholly relate to this meme:
   
   

    3.  TTTT!  For about the last year or so, my decorating obsession of choice has been the TTTT.  Dubbed so by my children as the Two-Tiered-Tower of Tchotchk(e), I have endured countless minutes of ridicule, but I have stood firm.  These little bits of decor have brought me Great and Abiding Joy.  Someday when my children have their own houses, they can decorate as they wish (I can only hope they don't decorate with their current favorites: dirty socks, food wrappers, backpacks and tennis shoes.)

My fall TTTT, which is showcasing the fabulous movie Thoroughly Modern Millie in the forefront

My 4th of July TTTT, the only pic I have of it, which includes our July 4th charcuterie -

 I'm a sucker for a theme!

And this precious thing - a baby TTTT, which I did not buy whilst at Hobby Lobby, but considered buying for many minutes until boring common sense prevailed

4.  PreK!  I don't remember if I've blogged about it or not, but this year I moved from teaching preschool (3/4s) to PreK (4/5s), and I LOVE it.  I taught 3s for 7 years and had absolutely no desire to move out of the 3s.  I adored their sweet little smiles, personalities and love, and I saw myself teaching 3s for the rest of my career.  So when I was offered the switch to PreK, I had to ponder and pray about it for moment.  It might not sound like a big change, but there really are quite a lot of differences between the two, and I wasn't sure I wanted to let go of my precious 3s. But after a little bit, I felt a peace about moving to PreK and gladly said I would move (which entailed moving classrooms, supplies, curriculum, the whole nine yards).  And I am truly loving it!  I've mentioned many, many times here that change is not my jam. At all.  Like I said, I was quite happy to remain where I was! But teaching PreK has been incredibly rewarding to me.  I love all my little students, with their eagerness to learn, their precious hugs, and their love of Jesus. The whole move was a good reminder to me that God works in everything, including change. 

Teaching in EC affords one the opportunity to wear super cute shirts like this. Try not to be jealous of my cutting-edge fashion.