Post Vacation Thoughts, Irish Style

Late last evening, we returned home from vacation (almost 24 hours later than scheduled!).  Our family vacation looked a little different this year - no pop-up, no camping, no United States!  Due to an incredible travel fund gift our family received last year for my husband's 25th ordination anniversary, all seven of us went to the Wild Atlantic Way of Ireland.  We spent 10 days traveling up and down the western coast of Ireland and it was absolutely amazing.  We have almost 900 photos and 30+ videos and countless memories.  I'll never be able to sum it all up, but here are a few of my thoughts on this amazing gift we received:

• Beauty!  Literally everywhere we looked, we saw beauty.  Mountains, green pastures and farmland,  cliffs, ocean views, beaches, sheep (more on them later!), castles, churches, Irish homes, Irish towns.  .  .the list goes on.  We saw places we'd heard about - The Cliffs of Moher, The Skellig Islands (where some of Star Wars was filmed!) the Dingle Peninsula, the Ring of Kerry, Blasket Island, the Aran Islands, Limerick, Galway, and a zillion other places we'd never heard of, but turned out to be gorgeous.  I just kept saying "This is amazing" and felt lame for my uninspired vocabulary, but I just had trouble summing it up into words. Ireland is a beautiful place, in every way.
• History! I was never a fan of history in school, but being in historical places has always fascinated me and Ireland didn't disappoint.  We saw so many old castles/forts/homesteads (some in ruins, some somewhat restored), and learned so many things about how the people lived in them (a murder hole over the front door! ancient toilets!).  Walking those old grounds/castles felt so surreal to me, knowing a tiny bit of what might have taken place where I was standing.  We also saw more "modern" homes - Victorian mansions and gardens and grounds.  Still so old by American standards, but not so old over there!  The first Airbnb we stayed in was 300 years old and had been in the owner's family since it was built.  It was quirky and awesome. And finally, we saw some beautiful churches and abbeys and cemeteries, some restored, some not, but all breathtaking in their own way.  
• Family history!  While we didn't choose to go to Ireland for this reason, I realized after we'd made our plans that some of my ancestors had been born in one of the towns on our route.  We took a car ferry to the town of Kilrush, and we were able to go to the parish where I believe some of my ancestors attended/were baptized.  The experience of being where my family had lived in the early 1800s was pretty overwhelming to me and so incredibly amazing. 
• Driving! Before we left for the trip, I was pretty anxious about driving in Ireland - on the wrong side of the car and the wrong side of the road.  My husband drove a manual, but we paid a little more for me to have an automatic (no one wants me to dust off my rusty 30+ year-old stick-shift knowledge AND shift with my left hand!).  We decided my eldest daughter would be my husband's navigator, and our eldest son would be mine, and the other three kids switched back and forth between the cars.  My son was a rockstar as he helped me navigate the streets of Ireland.  And shockingly, aside from the first few minutes behind the wheel,  I was remarkably calm about the driving.  But lemme tell you some things about driving in Ireland - first, the streets are all "2 lane", as in cars can be driving in both directions, but aside from highways, practically none of the streets are wide enough.  At best they're all about 1.5 lanes, and at worst, they're 1 lane.  And every single street in the whole country is winding, and both sides of the roads have stone walls or high brush immediately next the road (shoulders are non-existent in this country).  My son was so calm and patient, as he watched his life pass before him many times as I continually drove on the far left side of the road and he saw stone walls dangerously close to him as we zipped along.  He quietly waved his left hand to the right the entire trip, saying "stay right, Shellerton", as we listened to the only music I had downloaded on my phone on constant repeat for 10 days -- songs I had purchased or added circa 15 years ago.  Overall driving, while never a relaxing experience, wasn't as bad as I had feared, and we turned in both cars with "no new damage noted".  WIN!
• Homes!  Literally EVERY house in Ireland has a border - a fence at a minimum, but most with a hedgerow or stone wall.  Once I noticed this fact, I started looking for one without a border and I never saw one.  All the houses are built in the same style too - all the homes, new and old were cohesive. I desperately wanted to watch all the houses as we drove, but due to the teeny, tiny, curving roads, I had to miss some of them. 
• Irish!  Before the trip, I didn't realize how many people speak Irish in Ireland.  All signage is in both languages, and we heard lots of people speaking Irish.  I loved their accents when they spoke English as well - so lilting and lovely.  I tried hard to pick up the accent, as I often do in a different place,  but I never quite succeeded. Many of their unique phrases also made us smile - it was just so fun to listen to the people speak. 
• Wildlife!  My family can attest to the fact that while we did see some cattle, goats, and horses (we also had a near-hysterical puffin sighting), the real "wildlife" that I was obsessed with was the sheep.  After the first day or two I fell in love with the sheep that we saw in the fields everywhere we went.  We listened to them baaing and they brought me such joy.  On one of our walks into an old castle area, we saw a sheep farmer and his sheepdogs herding the sheep.  It was absolutely beautiful to me.  The sheep followed the dogs and farmer so well.  It was so incredible to see them running as the farmer and dogs herded them around the corners and into their pen.  I tried to take a video and failed, much to my later sorrow.  The whole thing was so moving to me, I actually cried!  The sheep in Ireland will be one of my best memories (so much so that I bought several sheep and sheep related little items and will be decorating a TTTT with them in the near future.  I have been made fun of for this.  I DO NOT CARE.  Me likey the sheepies.).
• Family!  As always, the best part of any vacation to me is the time together -laughing, appreciating our surroundings, and just spending time together.  I cherish that we could spend so many days in such an unbelievable place.  Many times during the trip I said to our family how thankful I was that our congregation gifted this fund to us - it provided a once in a lifetime opportunity for the seven of us.  I am so grateful. ♥

The Best of Friends

From the time my husband and I got engaged, we talked about having a big family. Interestingly enough, we always thought we'd have five kids, which we later went on to actually do!  I don't know if we actually envisioned what life with lots of kids would look like, but we each came from a family of two children and were very close to our siblings.  I think we really loved the idea of a loud, fun house, full of kids playing, laughing, and loving each other.

What we didn't envision was all the fighting!  While my husband and his brother had their moments growing up, and my sister and I sometimes bickered, I don't think we could have pictured what a house full of kids who didn't always see eye to eye would look like. As our family grew in number and the children grew in years, so did the arguing.  And the complaining.  And the constant "Mom!  Tell him to ______!!!!"

And oh. my. goodness.  There were so many moments when dear old mom was at the end of her rope.  Moments where I thought if I heard so much as one more whine and fuss about a sibling, so help me, everyone was going to regret it.  Not my finest hour(s), but it was reality.  Will they ever get along?  I lamented to myself, to my husband, to God. I had serious concerns.  After all, I knew lots of adult siblings who were not particularly close at best and actually estranged at worst.  I wasn't living in lala land where my kids might fight all their childhood but then suddenly emerge as adults who were the best of pals.  I knew their childhood years were critical in shaping their relationships with each other as adults.

And so I reminded them often, usually during a disagreement or squabble, or after an unkind word or uncharitable action:  "Please be kind to your brother (or sister).  He (or she) will be your friend for life!  You won't know anyone as long as you will know your siblings!  God gave you such a gift in your brothers and sisters!"

Repeat, over and over again, and then wait. Wait for years. Wait and pray, and continue to guide and encourage and offer opportunities for sibling bonding.  

And then, after all of those years, I have had the joy of seeing those prayers and pleas being answered. As my kids have grown into adults and older teenagers, what I thought might never happened has indeed happened:  they are friends.  

With joy, I have watched them laugh together, turn to a sibling for advice during a hard time, celebrate each other's victories,  and cry with each other during struggles.  They often choose to be together, look to each other for answers, and stand up for each other when needed.  Sure, they also gang up together to make fun of mom and dad,  but we can take it because "look, honey!  The kids are getting along so well while they mock us!" They have a separate group chat of just the kids where I'm sure they say all sorts of ridiculous things, but maybe also build each other up.  

No one will understand their growing-up years quite like their siblings do.  They can laugh about a funny video they watched when they were little, or how excited they were on Christmas morning, or how they used to play "crazy church".  While my husband and I were there, our perspective was different, and they could only turn to each other to fully reminisce about their memories. 

So if you're a young mom reading this, take heart. Keep encouraging and offering opportunities for your kids to grow closer.  And keep praying.  And then wait.  And in a few years, you'll see those fledgling friendships you've been watching grow truly blossoming.  And it will be beautiful.