Saturday, March 14, 2015

Bird is the Word

Yesterday after school, the kids and I headed out to the Suburban, parked in its usual spot with all the other teacher cars. As we approached it, however, I noticed something was amiss.

"What is all over the burb?" I asked the children.  "It looks like there are bullet holes all over the windshield!"

Upon further inspection as we got closer, we discovered that it was bird poo.  A LOT of bird poo.  Splotches of it, all over the entire front end of the burb.

"What on earth?" I exclaimed to the kids, who thought the whole scene was rather awesome.  "There is literally no bird poo anywhere else in the vicinity, except on our car!" And there wasn't!  The cars next to us and the parking lot around us were completely poo-free.  It was as if many birds took aim at our (newly-washed) burb and let it rip.

So floored was I over the disgusting scene in front of me, I felt compelled to count the poopy splotches.  32!  32 blobs of poo on my car, dear reader!  How can that even happen?  One of my daughter's friends told me later that afternoon that birds are attracted to the color red.  So truly, is that what happened? A bird and a few of his birdie friends were out for an afternoon flight, saw my beautiful red burb, felt the urge and took aim?  Can that even happen?  I'm beginning to think it might be a possibility.

Here is a shot of the poo-riddled burb, so you may join me in my shock and awe:

Actually, the picture doesn't do it justice.  It looked like a crime scene, if bird poop on a car was an actual crime.

Things I have learned from this experience:

1.  Never wear red outside.  Ever.

2.  Birds are mean, and also they have amazing aim.

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