Friday, July 18, 2014

A Rose By Any Other Name

I finally know what I want to be when I grow up, take two.

A paint/nail polish color- and hand soap/lotion/candle scent-namer.

Is that a thing?

It has to be.  Someone has to be shut up in a cubicle somewhere churning out winners like these:

Drab (nothing says 'homey retreat' like drab)
Almond Toast (I'm pretty sure my entire downstairs is some version of this color)
Insect Wing (ew!)
Frog Belly 
Mistletoe Kiss (stolen kisses have a color?  who knew?)
Arsenic (who wouldn't want walls reminiscent of poison?)
Jessie  (??? The gal in the cubicle finally got to name one after herself?)
Scarlett O'Hara (well fiddle-dee-dee)
Femininity 
Popcorn, Biscuit, Candy Box (I think Jessie was getting hungry now)

And nail polish colors!  I think the gal naming these must be sunning herself on the beach, drinking, with a tall handsome man nearby. . .

Show me the ring
Guilty Pleasures
Jamaica me Crazy (I say this all the time to the children - true story)
Fish-net Stockings
Mojito Madness
Smooth Sailing
Wicked
Lady Godiva (this one just makes me want chocolate)

And several I can't even mention, since children read this blog!  I rarely wear nail polish - I had no idea how how much the "sex sells" campaign was at work in this industry!

And finally my personal favorites, soap/lotion/candle scents.  The gal naming these, I envision, must be sipping fruity wines amidst a floral garden whilst baking snickerdoodles.

Mango Madarin  (mmmm)
Lavendar Camomille
Wild Passionflower (can't ya just smell it?)
Brown Sugar and Fig
Frosted Cupcake (what the gal is baking next)
Citrus Sunshine
Sundrenched Vineyard (the "office" for the gal writing these)
Pear Blossom Air

Now these names make me happy.  They're pretty creative, but they elicit warm fuzzies, and also make me hungry.  

So!  Who wants to hire me?  I am certain I can come up with names just as good as the ones above.  Let me try a few:

Totes Adorbs Teal
Just-like-spit-up-white

Glowing Halo 
Church-pew-brown (I'll try to clean up the nail-polish-naming industry)

Lilac Loveliness
Citrus Simplicity

Yes!!  I think they're awesome!!  I'm sure I'm a shoo-in.







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