All By Myself

Today I was alone.

All day, alone.

My littlest one started all day preschool today, and that means mamma was home by herself.  Sans children.  Zilcho in the kiddo department.

It was really weird.

I had this heavy weight on my shoulders (self-imposed, I admit) that I mustn't waste the day.  I have this fear that I will spend all my alone days reading, watching Law and Order (I have a severe addiction to that show), eating chips and growing lazier and fatter by the semester.

Okay, that seems unlikely, even to me, but I really want to be productive on these days.  Not that I won't rest and relax some (and shop, a past time near and dear to my heart), but I really want to accomplish things too.  After thirteen years of having little ones underfoot allthetime, that is no longer the case.  Therefore, there is no excuse for my house being a wreck . . .or not going to the Y. . .or not having dinner ready. . .  Anyway, I feel my standards must move up a notch.  And I'm not sure how I feel about that!  Because I seriously still HATE cleaning the bathrooms, no matter who is or isn't in my house, you know what I'm saying??

I'm in uncharted territory now.  Navigating new waters.  I have spent the last thirteen years being a stay-at-home mommy.  And while I still have that job, the terrain is changing.  And I've never been a fan of change!

Still, it was nice to have quiet when I wanted it, and be able to blast my 80's cardio station on Pandora when I wanted that.  So it's all good. . .just different and new.