Mommy's Nights: Full Circle

Many years ago, a little girl and I went shopping.  This shopping excursion was born out of a need for efficiency more than anything else:  I needed to get my new little kindergartener ready for school. And the thought of buying crayons and glue sticks and kleenex and a Friday folder, plus having her try on uniforms with two little boys underfoot just sounded like a recipe for disaster.  So I found a night when my husband was home, left the two precious but rambunctious boys home with him, and took my little gal to Meijer and Old Navy. 

And Mommy's Nights were born.

I can vividly recall being in the dressing room at Old Navy with my little girl while she tried on navy polos and khaki skirts.  She was so excited to get to wear a uniform like the big kids in our school.  Buying her back to school clothes and supplies was so fun that I stretched it out a bit and if memory serves, we got ice cream afterward.  And when I got home, I remember telling my husband that this is the way I wanted to shop for school supplies every year: one-on-one, in a special way, with dinner or a treat.  

And so that's what we've done.  For 16 years, I have taken each child out individually.  Some rough math shows me a guesstimate of 66 Mommy's Nights.  66 times I've taken my littles and not-so-littles out for dinner or ice cream, snapped a selfie, laughed til we've cried, and oh yes - shopped for school supplies.  Finding time for 5 nights (or mornings or afternoons sometimes - we're flexible!) every August isn't always easy, but somehow we've prioritized it every year and it's become a strong family tradition:  Mommy's Nights (which in later years are sometimes called Back To School Nights) are a staple after so many years.

And this year, that little girl who was over the moon about her Old Navy uniforms is going to go on her last Mommy's Night. She's starting her senior year of college and next year won't need dorm supplies or notebooks labeled for each class.  And her last Mommy's Night is going to look a little different - we're not only shopping for back to school items, but also for her wedding!  

How did it happen so fast? I don't know.  I just don't know.  But I do know that while she's not the gap-toothed little gal in the Old Navy dressing room anymore, she's still that same girl - happy to shop with her mom and laugh till we cry.  Excited about what's next (leave behind the uniforms - how about a wedding dress!) and happy to share the moments with her mom. 

Thankfully I have many more years yet with her younger siblings to carry on this tradition.  And also. . .my college senior is going to be a teacher after she graduates. . .so maybe she'd humor her mom for a back-to-school-as-the-teacher Mommy's Night next summer. :) 

A few other posts I've written about our Mommy's Night tradition can be found here  and here and here. :) 

Vacation By The Numbers, Part 2

We just returned from a two-week plus stint in the Wild Wild West (and we even heard the Will Smith song by the same name on the way home!).  It was a great trip, full of beauty, physical exertion, laughter and precious family time.  Here’s a quick numerical summary:

3 campgrounds 

8 states (IL, WI, MN, ND, MT, SD, WY, IA)

7 Thrivent shirts spotted, not including the ones we wore

4400 miles driven (almost 100% of which were driven by my husband, I drove 0 miles pulling the camper - I drove 0.1 mile to do laundry one day)

2 National Parks visited (Teddy Roosevelt and Glacier)

2 National Monuments visited (Little Big Horn and Devils Tower)

13 nights camping in our 20 year old pop-up, who is showing her age a bit, but still hanging in there for our adventures

1 night camping in our friends’ amazingly luxurious camper, causing all of us to dream a bit of getting a new camper someday

12 varieties of wildlife spotted (bighorn sheep, antelope, muskrats, bald eagles, mountain goats, free range cows, wild horses, bison, moose, grizzly bears, deer, prairie dogs)

2 free pizzas, given to us by a Glacier NP employee while we waited in long construction delays after a day in the park

40 miles hiked by 4 of us (12 of which were very strenuous), and 25+ by everyone else, who said no thanks to a hike with a 2600 foot elevation - you can make your guesses about who chose what)

2 (+5 of their kids) friends from college we ran into in our campground in Glacier as they were about to check out

1 Floreo (floor Oreo) nearly consumed by me.  On one of the last legs of the trip, my hilarious eldest two children planted an Oreo which had fallen on the floor, on the console between my husband and I.  After several hours of driving and being annoyed by its presence, I took a bite of it, which resulted in hysterical laughter from my precious children - they’re so funny!

2 back seat butt warmers, continually turned on by children to toast their unaware siblings’ booties

1 great family who hosted us on our trip back with gracious hospitality - it was great to catch up with them (and eat a wonderful meal and take showers without wearing flip fops!)

1 wild fire 5-7 miles from us on one of our hikes - we could see the smoke billowing up from it, and general haze the whole trip from all the other fires in the west

102 degrees on our hottest day, with lots of upper 90s days as well 

1 Corn Palace in South Dakota revisited and several pictures taken to be compared with great nostalgia to pix taken on 2014 on our Yellowstone trip

1.25 theme songs - The Ecstasy of Gold from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, as well as just the words “Lil’ Bit” from the song Lil Bit.  Theme songs have become a tradition each year for us.  You can see some of our other winners here and here and here  and here)

75ish hours in the suburban 

1 bald pop-up tire, noticed and changed by my husband preemptively in a Culver’s parking lot about 2.5 hours from home

And most importantly, hundreds of memories — of so much laughter, shared experiences, arguments and complaining (you do know my family, right?), beautiful mountains, lakes and glaciers, loud, whole-family car songs, and just general togetherness.  My eldest daughter got engaged a few weeks ago (we’re so excited about it - more on that to come!), and we all knew that this trip was the last of its kind, with all seven of us crammed in the pop-up and suburban.  These great camping adventures are not always easy - they’re full of as much hard work as having fun and relaxing.  But there is something to all that time pulling together as a family to keep everything afloat - it unites us in a unique way I think.  Every year as we return home from a family adventure, I am thankful.  Thankful for my husband who plans everything, for the ability to travel so many places, even on a tight budget, for the beauty which God has gifted our country, and for my precious family and our time together. 

How Beautiful

In the time span of just under two weeks, my family and I were able to witness not one, but two ordinations into the pastoral ministry.  What a gift!  Prior to these two ordinations, I think it has been 23 years since I had last attended one.  That year, we were able to go to several, including my husband's own ordination.  

Our church ordained a son of our congregation two weeks ago, and a few days ago, we attended the ordination of our new pastor at his home congregation. Both services were glorious.  A few moments from the services that were especially memorable:

• They were a sensory experience!  The sights (all the clergy!  the ordinand's posture!), the sounds (the glorious, heavenly music!  the full singing!), the smells (incense!), and for the ordinand, the feel of each attending pastor laying his hands upon his head.
• All the clergy!  Many times, even as a child, I have attended worship services with many pastors in attendance. And even as a child, I can recall the beauty there is in hearing all those faithful men sing a hymn with gusto (and often in parts!).  At both of these services, the sight of all the pastors surrounding their new brother and singing their praises was very moving for me.
• My husband preached for the first ordination, and his homily was beautiful (so much so that I listened to it twice!).  He wove into the homily the words of the ordinand's sainted grandfather, who was a retired pastor at our church.  The beauty of Ed's words, now spoken to his grandson, brought me to tears.  One of the quotes he shared was this: "[The pastoral office] is a calling second to none.  In joy, in hard work, in satisfaction, in disappointment, in fulfillment and the humbling awareness: We can only plant the seed, nothing more. God, the Lord alone, brings the harvest."
• The Rite of Ordination calls for the ordinand to kneel and also to lay prostrate.  At my husband's ordination I remember being very emotional as he lay down on the floor.  As these two young men did the same, I was also very moved. The visual is incredibly striking:  these men are giving their lives for the church.  Lying face down on the floor is an act of vulnerability, an incredible symbol of their humility at the greatness of the vocation they are entering. 
•  At the first ordination, I was honored to sing in a duet of "How Beautiful". The other gal and I split up the verses and sang two apiece, with me having the last stanza.  I have sung this piece many times before and it's always one of my favorites.  I didn't give much though prior to the service to which stanzas I would be singing, so I was caught off guard by my emotions as I sang the last verse.  While I was singing, I was able to watch the moments-new-servant-of-God prepare the table for communion, the very first time he had ever done so.  These are the words I sang, while I watched him serve:
  How beautiful the feet that bring,
  The sound of good news and the love of the King
  How beautiful the hands the serve
  The wine and the bread and the sons of the earth
  How beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful,
  Is the body of Christ.
  When I sing a solo, I tend to be very single-minded:  sing the song to the best of my ability.  I don't let myself get caught up in emotion or distraction of any kind, lest I make an error.  But not this time.  As I sang those words, while watching the very hands serve the wine and the bread and the sons of the earth, I was so moved, so grateful for this new pastor, all pastors, and ultimately Jesus for giving us himself and creating the body of Christ.  I am not worthy of His goodness to me.

It will probably be a very long time before I am able to attend another ordination, so I am savoring the still-lingering impressions from these two beautiful services.  As my husband quoted in his homily, the pastoral office is a calling second to none.  It is full of immense joy, but is also hard work and sometimes heartache.  I am so thankful that God called these two young men to do His work, and that they answered with a resounding "Yes!".  

#4 is high school bound!

A few weeks ago, we celebrated our FOURTH chid’s 8th grade graduation.  How we’ve gotten to this point is a mystery of time, but it is true.  We are down to one child at our Lutheran school, and our youngest boy is ready for high school.

This boy, who we used to fondly call our white-haired wonder, is growing up.  He still loves wildlife and nature, he still loves sports (basketball in particular), and he still loves hedgehogs (more of his own hedgehog, Bandit, and less of the cartoon character Sonic).  But he is changing.  He now loves working out and eating amazingly well.  He cooks almost all of his own meals, and they’re quite the culinary masterpieces.  He works incredibly hard at school and his grades reflected that this year.  And he still takes his faith very seriously, and we’re seeing that deepen and mature lately.

So, I guess he’s ready for high school.  He is pretty excited for this next step, and we are excited for him.  While I’m sorry I won’t see him every day at school with me, I know he is going to do great things in the next four years. 

And he’ll still hoop it up with his brothers and dad on the driveway, and cook in my kitchen.  He’ll still joke around with his siblings and make me laugh all the time.  I’m proud of this boy and the growth that we’ve seen over the last couple of years.  I can’t wait to see what God’s plans are for him in high school. 

Her Children Will Rise Up and Call Her Blessed

We have lots of text threads in our family. . .one for all seven us, one for the people who are living at home at the time, one for me and the girls, one for me and boys (the boyzzzz), and my personal favorite, the one with all the kids and me.  You might ask, why is there a thread without dear old dad in it?  Well, that's because dear old dad gets a lil weary of the constant bantering when someone gets on a kick, causing his phone to blow up.  On the contrary, mom loves it and reads them all.  This text thread gets renamed all the livelong day.  It started ages ago as "Mom loves her kids" or something like that, and has devolved more times than I can count, usually involved some slam against one of us ("Mom is tolerable", "Mom is mediocre", usually in response to me naming "Mom is the best" or the like).  But my favorite name for the thread is what I continually rename it - "Her children will rise up and call her blessed".  And time and again it is changed to something else, like "projectile vomit".

So.  

Obviously no one around here is rising up and calling me anything, unless it's Big Mamma or something equally flattering.  

Recently I saw a Mother's Day card that depicted a modern day Proverbs 31 woman, and it made me smile and ponder what makes a godly woman in today's world. Here are a few of my thoughts:

• She gets up early to switch the laundry, empty the dishwasher and start breakfast.  She lovingly wakes the kids up for school and assists with lunch-making, uniform-finding and field-trip-form-signing.  She prays with her family before sending them off with a kiss.
• She goes to the grocery, the pharmacy, the library, the bank.  She takes one child to the dentist and another to the doctor's office.  She ferries back and forth between school pick ups, sports practices, music lessons and her kids' games.  She puts more miles on the car than accumulate during a long trip.
• She disciplines her children with love and patience, slow to anger and quick to give grace.  She listens to them while they explain their point of view, champions them when needed and guides them to apologize when they're at fault. She reminds them again and again to take their troubles to God in prayer.
• She makes all the appointments, signs all the forms and fills out all the paperwork.  She helps with homework and job applications and listens patiently to presentations until they're just right.
• She gets up in the middle of the night to soothe away a bad dream, nurse and cuddle a precious baby, and administer nighttime meds.  She snuggles "just a few more minutes" in a stuffed-animal-crammed bed instead of beneath her own cool sheets.
• She cooks meals for her family,  sometimes elaborate, sometimes quick, but keeping them as healthy as possible.  She offers snacks when needed and directs the meal time conversations to best hear how her family is doing.
• She takes her children to church every week, instilling in them a love and reverence for their Savior.  She reads the bible and prays with her children at home, answering their faith questions as best she can.
• She loves her husband and respects him, lifting him up to others.  Her husband cherishes her and their children and the home she so lovingly curates. Together, they work to raise their children to know their Savior.

A Proverbs 31 woman is a tall order to fulfill.  I drop the ball daily, hourly. But that grace I'm teaching my children about is also extended to me.  

No, my children might not be rising up and calling me blessed, but I am blessed regardless. What a gift it is to be called to the vocation of motherhood!

This is the letterboard in our kitchen right now.

Yes! our vocation -- in this case motherhood --

is our God-given path to holiness. 

Praise God!

How Are We Not Those People?

 I was walking by our Alexa tonight and saw a picture of my husband holding up one of our babies, fresh from a bath, grins all around. 

And I stopped and touched the screen and said, "How are we not those people anymore?"

How are we not the people who have sweet smelling, towel-wrapped babies?

Who have late night feedings and baby snuggles?

Who have first steps, first words and first days of school?

Who have tiny socks and onesies in the dyer?

How are we not the people who struggle through church, grasping at any snippet of worship we can hear?

Who have playdates and playground afternoons and first sleepovers?

Who have ultrasounds and maternity clothes and pregnancy tests (so. many. tests!)

Who have babysitters and diapers and baby food?

How are we not the people who have long, long, long days?

Instead, we seem to be the people who have tweens, teenagers and young adults.

We are the people who are challenged mentally and spiritually by our children.

Who have drivers and college students and kids who are employed.

Who decide on a whim to go out to dinner just the two of us, and go.  Without advance planning.

We are the people who listen to tales of heartbreak, joyful news and everything in between.

Who laugh and laugh and laugh when we're all together.

Who answer to bruh.

Who now have to use google to help with homework.

Who lose sleep waiting for teenagers to arrive home by curfew.

We are the people whose days were so long, but are being shown that the years are so short.

And you know what?  While it's hard to believe we're no longer those people, the people we are now have a pretty great life too.

If These Walls Could Speak

I've been pondering home a lot lately.  How people live -- how they spend their time when in their most comfortable spaces.  As I drove by houses, I often wonder about the families inside, just going about the day to day, from mundane to thrilling, sorrowful to joyful.  So much of our lives are spent in our homes - hopefully our houses cradle us -- they give us refuge from the world, become our safe space to land.

A couple of years ago, I blogged about our dining room (you can read that here) and all the memories ensconced inside that one little room.  I also blogged about our recliner and all the memories I have in that very chair.  Since I am prone to nostalgia (surprise, surprise!), it made me think about all the memories our whole house holds - some I remember, many I don't (sniff, sniff), PLUS all the events that took place in our house before we moved in!  If these walls could speak, indeed!

So as I'm beginning to embark on exploring the stories our house holds, a few come to mind immediately:

• the early morning sound of padded feet, tucked into footie jammies, looking for mommy
• a bumped head while playing a crazy game with brothers
• cries of elation over good news - a desired part in a play, a good report card, college acceptances, news of vacation plans
• cries of sadness - mourning our miscarriages, the passing of loved ones, broken hearts, disappointments
• newborn baby cries - five times as each of our little ones were welcomed home into this house
• mamma tears as the children begin to fly from the nest
• a casual "I love you mommy" or "you're the best daddy ever!" from a tiny, precious voice
• hugs, kisses, cuddles, wrestling matches, tickle attacks
• toddler baths, full of splashes and shrieks of joy
• teenager feet pounding up and down the stairs
• love -- lots and lots of love

If these walls could speak, oh how I would listen.  I would soak it all up - the good and bad.  These walls have been our safe place; our sacred space for 23 years.  So much of our history I have forgotten, no matter how idealistic I was - "I'll never forget this!" and how carelessly I took for granted what I would now see as precious.  

Maybe they can speak, a little bit anyway.  They speak through our family photos, our journals, our shared remembrances.  It's not everything, but it's a lot.  And I'm awfully grateful for these walls.