Things I’m Learning During the Quarantine

So we’re on day 12 of the quarantine, and I’m learning a few things.  Here’s a little sum up:

• Seven people, eating EVERY meal in the house, EVERY day, eat A LOT of food.  I’m not allowing much grazing, but even so, it is amazing how much we are going through.  I usually go to the grocery once a week, but this week I had to make another grocery pick up order to keep us stocked!  
• Regardless of the amount of food being eaten, I am absolutely loving setting the table for seven literally every night. During normal life, we try to eat together, in the dining room, as many times are possible each week.  But now, we have eaten all dinners together, in the dining room, for the last 12+ nights.  Each night, it makes me so happy to count seven plates out for the table.  In the history of marriage and family life, I don’t think we have ever had this many meals together in row, with the exception possibly of vacations.
• We have just enough rooms in our house to facilitate remote learning/working.  We have kids and parents working in the dining room, bedrooms, basement, living room and family rooms.  Everyone is plugged into a various device, which we just have enough of, and now and then we hear preschool music or teaching or a zoom/google meet meeting burst out of someone’s computer. It’s been fun to hear the kids’ classmates talking to each other, and see my college daughter’s profs teaching her classes.
• Schedules are my jam. All right, I already knew that one, but the quarantine has definitely reiterated it to me and our family.  We have rhythms in place now for work, school, meals, chores, family game and movie time, and free time.  Everyone balked at the loose schedule we decreed, but I think everyone has settled into it now.  I have gone back to my two-days-a-week laundry schedule, just like in  days of yore when I stayed home, and I love it.  The dishes are being washed by two happy begrudging children (more on that below) each day, and everyone is vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms weekly as well.  
• Just before Ash Wednesday, our dishwasher’s motor went out.  My last blogpost waxed eloquent about the joys of hand washing dishes and how doing so would bring us closer together.  Soon after it went out, I decided to give up the dishwasher for Lent.  The kids cried foul, citing that THEY didn’t give it up, and they would be put to work.  I was undeterred.  It would be good for us all, said I, and led us forth into Lent.  Aaaaaand cue the quarantine.  Remember what I said about seven people eating a lot?  Well, they also use a lot of dishes each day.  It probably hasn’t been the greatest timing to be dishwasher free, but I still maintain that the two kids assigned each day to the dishes (and the duo changes every day - each kid washes three days a week)  are enjoying quality sibling time.  And I’m still doing a lot of dish duty myself, but I don’t really mind it.
• And finally, in addition to all the glorious family time, I am being reminded daily, hourly, that God is one step ahead of us (ok, He knows the entire path ahead of us!) and that He never leaves us or forsakes us.  This slower pace has granted all of us more personal devotional time (every morning for everyone, first thing) and family devotional time after dinner.  While I am sorry for the circumstances of the quarantine, I am thankful for all the blessings God has provided us during it. 

Let's Dish!

Our dishwasher stopped working several days ago, and I had a repair man out today to diagnose the issue.  He was a very nice man, who I paid $85 to tell me that the motor is bad and will cost $400. 

Sigh.

A new, basic model is about that price, so it seems unlikely that we will put that much money into this one (which is only 3-4 years old!).  So now we will be thinking about getting a new one I suppose.

But since the repair man left this morning, I've been thinking about doing dishes.  At the sink, the old-fashioned way.  And perhaps I'm romanticizing this chore, but doing the dishes several times a day doesn't sound like the end of the world to me.  Doing the dishes by hand can:

• create opportunities for conversation.  Some of my best holiday memories as an adult are those of doing dishes with my extended family.  We laugh, talk and spend time together over the hot soapy water.  When we go camping, the kids/adults assigned to dishes each night often end up messing around, laughing and having fun.  
• take me down memory lane.  Growing up, we didn't have a dishwasher, so my sister and I dutifully washed and dried them each night.  Drying was the much preferred chore (because sometimes if mom and dad weren't paying attention, you could skip the chore, and let them air dry).  I can have countless memories of my sister and I at the sink.  When we used to whine and beg for a dishwasher, my dad, ever the comedian, would say "Why do we need a dishwasher?  We have two beautiful dishwashers already!". 
• create opportunities to serve.  When we were first married, my husband and I lived in an old upstairs converted apartment.  It had been converted ages earlier, and had no dishwasher -- only a shallow one-basin sink.  Doing dishes was a tedious chore in that ancient kitchen, and one I put off often (I have changed a lot since then, regarding what I can handle being left on the kitchen counter!).  One Saturday we had a large group over for dinner, leaving a mess in the kitchen.  For some reason, we didn't do the dishes on Sunday (re: apparently I didn't care about a mess back then!!), and when I left to teach and my husband left for classes on Monday morning, they were still sitting there, taunting me.  All day long, I kept thinking of those dishes, lying in wait for me when I got home.  But when I arrived home after a full day of teaching middle schoolers, the kitchen was clean, and all the dishes washed and put away.  My husband had had some unexpected time in his day and was able to get them done. Seeing that clean kitchen was like a Christmas gift to me!
• provide some quiet time for contemplation.  Over the last few days, I've found doing all the dishes by hand to be somewhat therapeutic.  Just as I feel about folding laundry, I haven't minded the repetition and the moments for quiet retrospection.  
• provide quality time with my children.  As I said earlier, doing the dishes can provide opportunities to talk.  Every time I have washed a batch this week, I've grabbed the nearest child and had him/her dry them with me.  And each time, we've chatted - sometimes about nothing important but other times about weightier things.  I look forward to more conversations like these, and of course, more laughter -- always so much laughter.

I'm sure in a week or two I'll be weary of hand washing dishes for 6-7 people multiple times a day.  I may be ready to beg a Best Buy employee to give me a good deal on a new dishwasher.

But until then, I'm going to relish the opportunities doing the dishes provides.

Four Teenagers in the Hooooouse (second edition)

Last summer, my fourth child had his 13th birthday, thereby bestowing on our family the honor of having four teenagers in our family. 

Does that sound terrifying?  I suppose it could be!  But it hasn't been.

It's been awesome.

And the four-teenager-run is about to come to end, never to happen in our family again (we will miss it by about 10 months with the last four kids). 

I have to say, I'm a little sorry to see it go.  Before we had teenagers, when we were in the throes of diapers and tantrums and toys underfoot constantly and no sleep and chasing toddlers and general exhaustion, everyone said "Oh, just wait till you have teenagers!", with an air of impending doom. 

But people, I'm here to tell you: there has been no doom impended upon us, only joy*.  Having teenagers has been a learning experience, to be sure.  I've learned:

• how funny my children are! I never dreamed these little people we created would make me laugh so. dang. much.  They crack me up with their crazy voices and accents and commentaries.  Regardless of what we're doing, their antics are likely to have me in tears.
• to change my dinner table expectations.  Dinner at our house is a sight to behold.  Some kids are stealthily feeding the dog, other kids are asking philosophical questions, others are laughing with a sibling across the table and others might be simply talking louder than the sib next to them. It's loud and crazy and fabulous.
• to appreciate them for who they are.  As the kids get older, their perspectives are becoming more pronounced, and I am learning to embrace how they think and look at life.  My husband and I continue to shape, teach and direct them, but more and more they are making decisions on their own.  It's been so lovely to watch them turn into independent young people.
• how grateful I am.  Every day, every moment is a gift.  When the kids were young, I often felt like I was lucky to be keeping my head above water.  Now, though life is at full tilt all the time, it's different.  I am able now, because I see the end of the family years looming ahead of us, to better appreciate all the beauty I see in front of me.  Every vacation, holiday, game night, and special dinner feels weightier to me.  While I always knew my children were a blessing, as they get older, I more fully see the gifts that they are to us.  

Next month, my eldest daughter will turn 20, and a new era of parenting will be upon us; parenting young adults.  A new set of skills will be required of us.  It's always hard for me to let go and accept change, but at the same time, I'm excited about this next chapter ahead too.  The last 20 years have been full of joy and blessings, and I know God will continue to give us just what we need in the years to come.

*Well, okay, not 100% joy all the time, because they are still indeed humans, and therefore tend to be peskily sinful.

Hymn Sing

Tonight after dinner, we sang our nightly hymn for our family devotions (#676 LSB Behold a Host, Arrayed in White - one of my favorites).  When we were done, I invited commanded one child to do the dishes and the rest to clear, as per our nightly custom.  After the usual silly complaints, the table was cleared and the dining room vacated.  Under the back drop of children's antics, I sat and flipped through the hymnal, singing the occasional stanza of a favorite now and then.  Within a few moments, I grabbed a post it and penned the following list:

Hymns/Songs for my Funeral Concert

For All the Saints

Jerusalem, My Happy Home

Behold, a Host Arrayed in White

The Church's One Foundation

I Know that My Redeemer Lives

Christ is Risen

Alive, Again

Untitled Hymn

Perhaps this is morbid?  I don't know.  I'm always telling my poor husband,  "When I die, you should have this hymn (song) at my funeral". I finally realized that I wanted so many pieces that maybe we better call it a concert. :) 

These hymns and songs are so meaningful to me.  The saints! Christ's resurrection!  The Church! Heaven!  My faith is strengthened and I am often moved to tears literally every time I sing any of them.  What joy and hope and comfort they all give me!

What are your favorites?  What hymns/songs speak to you?  

Snapshots of the Past

As in days of old when families gathered around their radios, every December my kids like to gather around the computer and watch old video clips of them from Christmas mornings past.  They laugh and cheer and call to each other, while remembering gifts they received and how cute their siblings were when they were toddlers.  I love listening to them and catching glimpses of their sweet little-child faces on the screen.

This year, due to a conversion of our old camcorder tapes and an Amazon fire stick, we were able to watch videos on our TV from 1999 onward.  It has been wonderful - a true gift to see those little people I remember from years ago. . .the little ones who slowly morphed into the big kids and young adults I live with now.  I didn't realize it was happening at the time, but looking back, what a joy it is to see those precious faces and hear their darling little voices.  Among the clips we found:

• One of the boys falling asleep in his food at Fudruckers while on vacation.  His head kept bobbing, he kept smiling and drifting. . .until he finally gave up and fell asleep. 
• A sweet three year old boy singing the Transformer theme song - with amazing accuracy and an adorable voice.
• Countless Christmas enter-the-room-and-see-the-stockings-and-presents clips.  The expressions of excitement and joy on their little faces makes my heart sing.
• New babies being brought home and siblings welcoming them - with songs and overtures of love.
• Videos of family members who have passed away. . .clips of three of our grandmothers.  Oh - how lovely to see their expressions and hear their voices.  Such a gift.
• Countless birthday cakes and songs and candles blown out - each year passing more quickly than can be imagined.
• Dances (including a certain four year old dancing on the table for his birthday) and music videos that some of the kids can barely bring themselves to watch.
• My eldest daughter at age 3 recounting (with amazing accuracy) the ENTIRE Christmas story, while directing my husband and her imaginary friend to play all the parts with her. 

More than once I was moved to tears as I took in all the faces, voices and details of the past.  How precious are these memories of so many dear people.  Time passes so quickly we can scarcely see the changes as they occur.  What a gift to have these memories!S

The Week(ish) in Pictures, Holiday Edition

The last few weeks, in picture form:

Twinsies!

  Someone snapped this picture while my daughter and I were working on Thanksgiving dinner and it made me so happy.  Love this girl, and love that we wore the same outfit and same pony! (I don't know how she felt about twinning with dear old mom, but I loved it!)

My youngest daughter's Elf on the Shelf winter scene creation

 She loves the Elf on the Shelf, like her older brother before her, and she had such fun creating this scene for Hedgy (the Elf), and Blair and Claire (the reindeer).  I love her imagination!  And you'll be pleased to know that our dear naughty doggie only ingested some of the cotton balls from the scene. 

Cheesy Christmas Movie Graphic!

We don't have the Hallmark channel, but my youngest and I have watched a couple of Prime/Hulu/Netflix equivalents and I can report that this plot generator is spot on.  And while I generally prefer Law and Order SVU while wrapping Christmas presents, I have to say that, while very predictable and cheesy, the few movies we watched were pretty sweet.  And bonus - the ones we saw were completely appropriate for my ten-year-old's eyes and ears!  Since that's hard to come by anymore, I say three cheers for fluffy Christmas movies!

Monochromatic Christmas decor!

I needed to update my Christmas decor (I was informed of this by my teenage daughter), so off I went to Hobby Lobby, the best store on the planet.  Hours later, I emerged with several Christmas gifts and a few new decorations, all for a song!  This little corner cabinet makes me happy with its gray and white decor, and nod to a favorite Christmas hymn. 

The Best Gift

All five of our kids made this project in preschool (some of them made it more than one year, hence the nine you see - I don't have four other children I haven't ever mentioned). And every year, we hang them up somewhere and they bring me Great Joy.  I love that from a young age, they were being taught at school and at home that Jesus is the best gift they'll ever receive.  I am now in my sixth year of teaching preschool, and I continue to do this project with my preschoolers.  As I work on it with each child, I love reminding them that no matter what gifts they'll get on Christmas, nothing is more important than the gift Jesus gives them - the gift of Himself. 

#SibsForLife!

This summer, while we were on vacation, we were celebrating our middle son's 15th birthday.  We were sitting around the dinner table, and everyone was laughing. 

However, my husband and I had no idea what was going on.

Yep - the kids were all laughing about their shared childhood memories.  Moments, events, experiences, toys, movies. . .memories my husband and I weren't directly involved in.  At one point, while they reminisced about some crazy video they had watched in their younger years, I looked over at my husband and gave him the "who knows" gesture, with a wide smile and laughter.

I had virtually no memory of what they were talking about, and I was loving every moment of the scene.

True, dear old dad and I were out of the loop, but that didn't matter.  What was so beautiful to me was their shared bond.  Independently of their parents, their shared experiences of living in our crazy house brought them joy.  The things they remember fondly brings me such happiness. 

When we are old and gray (which is actually today, I'm sorry to report), our kids will have each other.  No one else but their siblings will quite understand their unique childhood experience.  They will have each for support, for laughter, for family.  More times than I can count, I have reminded my children that their siblings will be the longest relationships they will ever have.  No one will know them as long and as well as their siblings do.  And that's a beautiful gift.

Earlier today, I thought of a phrase as I was doing the dishes and it reminded me of a quote from a movie my sister and I adored when we were teenagers.  I stopped what I was doing, grabbed my phone, and texted the quote to her.  A bit later, she responded with another quote from the same movie, and we went back and forth, entertaining ourselves with our shared memories.  I was laughing with each text that came back, and it was great.  Outside of my parents, my sister has known me longer than anyone else, and there's great comfort and peace in that. 

Brother and sisters!  What a blessing they are.