In late January of 1995, I went on my first date with my husband. The next day, he asked me if I'd like to meet his parents, who were visiting him that day from his home town. Of course I said yes -- I really liked this guy and thought he might be "the one". Spoiler alert -- he was! :). So on that day in 1995, I drove to meet them, blasting ABBA on the drive, and feeling nervous. Later that night, I wrote in my journal (back then in college I called it my diary, but let's not quibble over semantics). And I wrote something along the lines that his parents were really nice, his mom talked to me quite a bit, but his dad was pretty quiet.
I don't know if I knew then, but I think maybe I did. I think I knew that I would marry this man, and these wonderful people would become my in-laws, but truly, they would become another set of parents, no "in-law" necessary. And for the last 27 they have been just that -- parents, loved ones, confidantes, mentors, advice-givers and just downright amazing, wonderful people.
A little over a month ago, my father-in-law went home to Jesus. And over the last month, I have thought of him so much (and dreamed of him so many times). I've pondered who he was and how much he was loved by so very many people. And as I said to my sister-in-law, who also married into this dear family, "We won the jackpot." We could never, in our wildest dreams, imagined an in-law family better than the one God called us into. My husband's mom and dad welcomed us both from the very start, and we always, always felt that we were part of the family, again no "in-law" needed.
So I've been thinking so much of my dear father-in-law, and who he was. Here are just a few brief thoughts about this man I was privileged to call my family:
- He was funny! He had a quiet sort of humor and would drop a one-liner now and then that always made me smile.
- He was a man of integrity. In business, in raising his boys, in his faith. . . he always conducted himself in a way that was above reproach. I am grateful for the way that he raised my husband - not always with a lot of flowery speech, but by quiet example.
- He was smart! In so many ways I valued his opinion and appreciated his advice. He knew a lot about a lot of things and was always a trusted advisor.
- He was generous. Oh, so generous. Of time, of resources and with love. More than once, he pressed a $100 bill in my hand unexpectedly and told me to "just spend it on you". He sent my husband and I to LA to fulfill my life's dream (don't judge me, friends) and see The Price is Right before Bob Barker retired. He never tired of sharing and giving - to family, friends, his church and strangers.
- He was quiet! As was mentioned in his funeral sermon, he was a man of few words. Therefore, when he spoke, you listened. He was wise and funny as I said earlier, and though he reserved his words (there are plenty of us around who filled up the word quota at family gatherings), when he did say something, it was usually worth paying close attention to.
- He loved. He loved his family fiercely, he loved his friends, he loved his church, and ultimately, he loved his Lord. And those of us on the receiving end of his love were so much better for it.