They say with age comes wisdom. I don't know how wise I'm getting in my old(er) age, but I do know that I have learned a few things over the years and also have gotten more comfortable with who I am. Below are a few quotes and bits of wisdom I've adopted over the years and love to bestow on my family at opportune times. :)
- Read the room. I don't know how many times my oblivious children have asked an inane question during a phone call/intense conversation/crisis situation/parent dozing. Look around and decide if now is the perfect time to ask if you can have a cookie.
- Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans. I know this one is a little cliche, but it rings so true. We're always looking ahead and so easily miss what is right under our noses - these children, these moments, this life.
- If you have something nice to say, say it! I've written about this before, and I still try to make it my mantra every day. The cashier has beautiful hair, tell her! Your colleague has a lovely way of making others feel comfortable, tell her! Your husband makes you coffee every morning, thank him! Seize the moment to be kind!
- A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. I saw this on a sign in my college library and it has stuck with me. Again, my precious offspring have often come to me with a wild look in their eyes because they need a protractor/snack for school/kleenex box (read about that one here)/special color shirt that they don't own. . .for tomorrow. When asked how long they've known about said need, the answer is always days or weeks. I am happy to help my children out with whatever they need, but plan ahead a bit, people.
- Do small things with great love. I have this sign in my kitchen as a daily reminder to take up all the small tasks I do for my family as gifts to them. I so often do small things with great grumbling and annoyance. I remind myself that these little things are how I show my family I love them.
- Know your audience. I'm not sure how to sum this one up, but it boils down to thinking of the other person's feelings before speaking. I've been on both sides of this - I once said "I'm starving" to a cashier, without thinking about the fact that she might know what it's like to actually be hungry (and she questioned me about it). And I've been told by someone with a much larger expendable income lament that they hadn't taken an (elaborate) spring break trip in a few years (we've never taken one).
- These are the good old days. I recently bought a sign with this sentiment on it (my daughter has informed me that we have waaaaay too many signs with words, but I don't listen to that kind of crazy talk). This phrase reminds me that I'll look back on this time (and indeed I already look back on our earlier parenting years this way) and realize that these are the good old days. Now.
- Mail a hand-written thank you note! We're big on thank you notes around here. I think taking the time to write a personal note of appreciation is such a kind gesture. When in doubt, always write a thank you!
- And finally, with great silly fanfare, I do what I want! My kids are always telling me I should do this or do that, or wear this or don't wear that, and I am often heard saying, "I do what I want!" If I want to sing or dance or laugh at ridiculous things, I'm gonna do it. If I want to wear something that my teens deem "special", I'm gonna do it. If I want to hug my kids or check in on them a bit more often than they feel is necessary, I'm gonna do it.
So there it is - "wisdom" from this late 40s mamma. Take it or leave it! But if you live in my house, you're going to be reminded of these things on the regular. Hopefully these thoughts will help shape them into kind and loving people. :)