Love Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry

Such is the quote from the 1970s movie Love Story.  I vividly remember my mom mentioning it at some point in my childhood and calling it ridiculous.  As a child I didn't really understand what it meant, but the exchange with my mom stuck and every time I hear the phrase now I remember discussing it with her.  

And now here I am, considerably older than she was when she scoffed at the phrase.  And, as you probably also know from your experience, my mom was right.  

I live in a house with seven people, one dog and one hedgehog.  And I love all those people fiercely (I also love the dog, and I am fond of the hedgehog), and I can firmly attest to this:  just because I love them doesn't mean I should never apologize.  In fact, because I love them, they deserve my heartfelt apologies when my actions warrant it. 

I'll be the first to admit that saying "I'm sorry", especially to the ones I love isn't always the easiest.  Admitting I'm wrong - who wants to do that??   In fact, my husband is far better than I am at apologizing when he makes mistakes, which is a gift to me and our children.  But apologizing to others stirs up a vulnerability that opens doors and strengthens relationships.  I admit I'm wrong, and I love you and trust you enough to forgive me my offense.  And in so doing, the offended party is given a beautiful opportunity to forgive, just as Jesus does for us and calls us to do for one another. 

I've watched it happen in my relationships with my family and friends, and I've watched it happen between my children.  When we say we're sorry, love is actually deepened and strengthened!  Hearts are opened and forgiveness is entrusted to the other person.  

No, love doesn't mean never having to say you're sorry.  Love means trusting another person so much that you simply must ask their forgiveness.  True love means saying you're sorry.

Fiat

Maybe you've heard of the trend of choosing a word at the beginning of each new year.  The word is to be one's focus for the year; a way to home in on one specific attribute and have it be a constant reminder of where you want to grow.  

I am in a Facebook group of moms and the question was raised:  "What is your word for 2021?".  While I've flirted with the idea of choosing a word for the year, I've never really done it.  But after the question was posed, I spent some time pondering what I might like to choose for this year, and I've decided to try to fully embrace a word this year.  

After only a few moments of thinking about it, the word came to me: Fiat.  While I've understood the meaning of the word fiat for many years, the actual word fiat is relatively new to me.  When the angel Gabriel came to Mary and announced to her that she had found favor with God and she would conceive and bear God's son, Jesus, Mary was confused.  But after a brief exchange with the the angel, Mary said, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be unto me according to your word." (Luke 1:38).  

And in those short moments, Mary's entire plan for her life shifted.  Whatever plans she might have had for her life were no longer a reality.  This is Mary's fiat.  Fiat is taken from the Latin, meaning "let it be done".  Without long deliberation or any apparent fear or trepidation, Mary surrenders her will and ideas for her future and boldly steps into a great unknown, but she steps with quiet confidence that the future is not unknown to God.

What a beautiful example and inspiration to us!  How often I cling to my idea for my future, the future of my children, my husband, our family. . .the list goes on and on!  My heart tightly grasps my will and I am often hard pressed to let God show me HIS will - His good and gracious will.  In my broken humanity, I am barely able to see what is just around me -- and I can't imagine anything else than my short-sighted dreams and hopes for my future, especially if it is scary, sad or challenging.  But God's will is always perfect, and is always much better than whatever my feeble mind could ever imagine.  

Several months ago, I said goodbye to a dear friend who was moving several hours away.  I thought long and hard about a gift to give her, to let her know how much she meant to me. I found a necklace for her that I felt summed up how she looked at life: it is a tiny circle with one word imprinted on it:  fiat.  My friend's future was taking a shift and not going in the direction she had thought it would, but she said to God, "Let it be unto me, according to your word".  I loved the necklace so much I bought one for myself as well, and I often hold the tiny disc and pray the words to myself as a reminder.  Let it be unto me, Lord.  Your will for my life is perfect and beautiful.

Fiat.