Best 20 of 2020

 2020 has been quite a year, no need to point that out to anyone.  It has been full of loss, sadness, heartache, and disappointment.  We've had to lean on God's promises -- that He will never leave us nor forsake us, and that He is always ahead of us, lighting our way.  

So as this year closes out and we embark on 2021, I want to focus on the positives that came out of this year.  In no particular order, our Best 20 from 2020.

20.  Walks.  And walks and walks and walks.  Daily walks together -- bundled up at first, then late evening summer strolls and then bundled up again.  So many strolls and power walks with my family = lots of time to talk and laugh.

19. Puzzles and games! We pulled out so many of both and enjoyed the slower pace last spring and in the summer.

18.  Online shopping!  I already did a fair amount before 2020, but I gotta say, I really upped my game when I could no longer shop in person.

17.  A glass of wine while making dinner during the height of the quarantine months.

16. Seven plates for dinner.  For weeks and weeks and weeks.  We had more meals together as a family, day in and day out, than ever in the history of our marriage.

15. Doing dishes together for over two months while we had no dishwasher. The kids may not agree this falls in the "best" category, but I loved the opportunities it created.

14. Doing laundry only two days a week as in days of yore when I stayed home full time.

13. Unforeseen wisdom in an accidental toilet paper stock up in late February.  While everyone else was panicking, we were flush with TP.

12. Leggings and T shirts for months on end.

11. Our preferred method of vacationing (camping!) turned out to be the best way to vacation in 2020, especially in the UP of Michigan!  They were socially distancing before it was cool!

10. Worshiping at home.  While it isn't the preferred method at all, there were many moments of joy and beauty as the kids and I sat in our "regular" seats in the family room and faced our home altar beneath the TV.  Singing together (so loudly we couldn't hear the singers on the screen), kneeling and praying together. . .worshiping at home had its own kind of beauty for a time.

9. Videos and zooms with my students.  It was so great to see their little faces on my screen, and also to chat with their families.  I got over my angst at seeing and hearing myself on countless videos and was able to be in the moment with my little ones.

8. Listening to my boys and husband play game after game of basketball on the driveway.

7. Shadow basked in the joy of having everyone home day after day.  Or maybe he hated it and wished he could just be left alone and sleep on my bed already.

6. Hearing my children's teachers and classmates on zoom and google meet. Getting a glimpse of their classroom environments was fun.

5. Good health.  We are so grateful to have all remained healthy this year.

4. My freshman son was able to attend his first semester of college in person.

3. Saved a lot of money on gas.  Spent a lot more on groceries.  Saved a lot by not eating out.

2. Participated in numerous drive by parades and birthday parties.  Also enjoyed socially distanced extended family time outside. 

1.  Family time, family time, family time.  This is the best aspect of 2020 for me.  Like we never have before and like we never will again, our seven people were together.  And it was an unbelievable gift. 

Confirmed in Christ!

Last Sunday, our youngest child, sweet KK, walked up to communion distribution and received a blessing from her dad, like she has down the entirety of her eleven years.  But this blessing was different. When she sat back down in the pew next to me, she whispered, "That was my last blessing!".  

While she will receive lots of blessings in her life, she was right about this particular one.  Because the next time she walks up to communion distribution, she will receive the body and blood of Christ.  K is being confirmed and receiving her first communion tomorrow evening! She is so very excited!

K has watched all of her siblings make their confirmation and receive the Eucharist, and now it is her turn.  She has had some bumps on her road to this momentous occasion, however.  All of her siblings were confirmed at the grand Easter Vigil; K will be confirmed a week before Christmas.  All of her siblings were surrounded by our entire extended family; K will be surrounded by her immediate family and three of her grandparents.  All of her siblings had a year of in-person instruction (a term we never would have used at the time!) with all of their classmates and friends; K has finished up the bulk of her instruction via zoom and video lessons.  

But however different this special night might feel, our daughter's joy hasn't diminished.  She is still thrilled beyond words as she thinks about tomorrow night and the big step it is in her faith.  She has read, studied, prayed and written testimonies in preparation.  She has chosen her confirmation verse (see below), and pondered her baptism's great importance.  This girl has been flexible through all the changes and at the end of the day is just thankful that she is going to be confirmed and receive the Eucharist.

I'm so proud of my little gal, and so grateful that she will be given the gift of the sacrament of the altar. She's ready and so very excited for this blessing in her life.  Thank you, God, for a child who truly loves you! 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy --

think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

A Thrill of Hope

This morning I woke up very early (of course, since it's Saturday!) and was looking through my email, when this phrase caught my eye:

A thrill of hope

It was printed on a pillow (that I considered purchasing for a few moments) and as I looked at it, I started humming the hymn and finished the phrase:

The weary world rejoices

And it really resonated with me.  Indeed, we are a completely weary world.  Being sinful, we're always weary, but I think everyone would agree that the world seems especially weary right now.  In fact, the world has never been so united in something as we are now:  weariness.

But this!  This thrill of hope!  When I read the lyric,  I shivered - a thrill!  I've heard this hymn hundreds of times before, but as I read it this morning, it took on a new meaning.  Here we are, already weary from our general sinfulness, now multiplied exponentially by covid and all the sadness and hardship it has brought to our families and communities.

But we are not without hope!  The rest of the stanza assures us:

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees; O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!  During Advent, we are anticipating that new and glorious morn!  As Jesus is born in a humble stable, that tiny baby promises us (gives us hope!) of that new and glorious morn!  While we don't know how or when He will fully reveal that to us, we do see glimpses of that hope.  God gives us those moments that bring us joy and strengthen our faith all the time, we only need to be open to seeing them for what they are.  A baby's laugher, the twinkle of Christmas lights in a darkened room, a sunset over the ocean.  The anticipation of a family gathering, the sound of a summer breeze in the trees, sand beneath your feet.  The moving music of a beloved hymn, the feeling of home and family while at church, and the joy of the Eucharist and comfort of the communion of saints.

I do so believe that God stirs our hearts any number of ways.  He gives us the thrill of hope -- joy, peace and happiness at unexpected moments.  And right now, as we quietly observe Advent in anticipation of Christmas, He reminds this weary world of the of the new and glorious morn that is coming.  

A thrill of hope, indeed.

Things That Bring Me Joy

In no particular order, a few things that bring me Great and Abiding Joy :) 

Shadow, or as we call him, Shadow da babies.  Or as he has been recently nicknamed by one of my boys, Stinky, which I must admit is an appropriate moniker.  This (mostly) good boy loves his mamma so much!  He follows me from room to room, watches for me to come home at the dining room window, and loves to cuddle in bed with me (which is not always allowed!).  He's getting a bit older and slightly more gray (join the club, puppers!), but he's still a sweet playful boy at heart.  He's been a good addition to our family these last many years. 

A new Cricut!  I received this beautiful piece of machinery as a Christmas gift and I LOVE it!  And I also love that my 20-year-old daughter figured out how to run it and the computer program so I didn't have to!  We've been making ornaments and the like, with plans to try a few other things soon.  It's so fun!  But I'm not looking forward to having to learn the computer program when she goes back to school.  

Christmas decor and buffalo plaid!  I have been drawn to (read: obsessed!) black and white buffalo plaid this Christmas.  I am loving decorating in the simplicity of black and white.  My kids are not totally on board though - "why are you decorating with boring colors, mom?  Where's the red?"  Sigh.  You can't win them all.  One kid, however, said this a few days ago:  "Mom, the outside of our house is lame at Christmas." As I prepared to defend myself, citing white lights and garland around the front door, the child continued, "But the inside is hecka vibey!"  I'm not totally familiar with that phrase, but I'm pretty sure hecka vibey is a compliment.  I'll take it!

This meme.  Wow, does it summarize where I'm at with my boys these days.  One minute I was their world -- a kiss and hug from me could solve all their problems, and the next minute I'm getting a random hug from a giant man-child while being called bruh.  It happened in a matter of minutes I tell you.  Moms of little boys, hold on tight. It's a bumpy ride, but it's so awesome.

 

Thank You

I woke up at 4:00 am this morning, overwhelmed with thankfulness for our church family.  Unable to go back to sleep right away, I decided to get up and write down my thoughts.  

So my dear Trinity, thank you:

Thank you for loving my children.  Thank you for loving them when they were yet unborn through prayer and support.  Thank you for loving them when they were little and sitting still in church with their mamma seemed an impossible task - for years and years and years.  Thank you for loving them when they were cute, silly and also crazy. Thank you for loving them when they made mistakes (such as, but not limited to: pushing a table into the wall in the hallway and making a hole in the drywall).  Thank you for not expecting them to be perfect but understanding that they are children (and now young adults!), not just PKs (pastor's kids).  Thank you for thinking of them on their birthdays and at holidays! Thank you for supporting them as they've gotten older, asking them about school, college, life.  Thank you for praying for them (sometimes by name!) and letting them know you care for them.  Thank you for loving them, and us through that.

Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for loving me just where I am, and not where you might think I should be as a pastor's wife.  Thank you for not having preconceived expectations of what a pastor's wife should or shouldn't be and imposing them on me. Thank you for your kindness to me day in and day out -- when we first arrived and I was figuring this life out, when I was a young mother learning my way each week in the pew, and as the years have passed, as simply a friend and fellow parishioner.  Thank you for taking an interest in my life too, and supporting me.  Thank you most of all for loving me as I strive to support and be a helpmate to your pastor.

And thank you most of all for loving my husband.  Thank you for encouraging him, praying for him and building him up.  Thank you for seeing the best in him and knowing his heart -- that his every decision and choice is born out of prayer for the people of his parish.  Thank you for trusting him with all your moments -- baptisms, weddings, and loved ones' funerals.  Thank you for turning to him when you're hurting, sad, and afraid.  Thank you for giving him the opportunity to pray for you during your struggles, and for the gift of celebrating confession and absolution with you.   Thank you for inviting him into your homes and making him feel welcome. Thank you for laughing when he's goofy and appreciating his love for 80s rap! Thank you for knowing who he is -- not only how he shepherds his flock, but his likes and dislikes and what makes him unique and special.  And with teary eyes, I thank you most of all for praying for him -- that God would give him wisdom and would guide his thoughts and words as he works tirelessly to bring Jesus to the people God has entrusted him to lead.  

We've been here for over 22 years, and this little blogpost only scratches the surface of what the people of Trinity mean to me. And like I posted about here, through our shared moments we have become more than just "people who go to the same church".  We have become family.  

So thank you, thank you, thank you.  Thank you for letting us into your lives and embracing all of us, faults and all.  Know that you are always in our hearts and prayers.  Thank you for being our family.

Preschool Stories

A couple of preschool stories for you:

Friday was a beautiful day, so before I got my students settled in for their nap, I grabbed a couple of books and their corresponding stuffed animal characters and told the children we were going to have a special story time.  The little ones excitedly followed me outside.  The children were laughing behind me and the gentle wind was blowing pleasantly as we climbed up a small hill near our classroom door, and suddenly, I had an overwhelming desire to break into "Do Re Mi" from The Sound of Music.  I was Maria, in the hills of Austria, with my precious children skipping behind me.  Hard as it was, I suppressed the urge to burst into song as I settled the children in for story time.  But a few minutes later, as we were wrapping up, another teacher walked by, and in moments we were regaling the children with "The Hills Are Alive".  I'm pretty sure the students were all very impressed. 

My 20 year old daughter is home this semester and taking her classes online. She happened to have no classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so she is an aide in our preschool those two days.  We share many of the same children, so it's fun to share cute stories about the littles.  She shared this one with our whole family:

Child, walking up to my daughter in the gym:  Miss A, do you have a broom?

My daughter:  Yes, I have one at home.

Child to friend:  SEE!  I told you she was a witch!

Then the girls skipped off, continuing to discuss their Halloween costumes. 😂

Word Up!

 My kids got me this letter board for Mother's Day, complete with this spot-on quote. :)  We've had fun changing it out over the last several months.  Here are a few of my favorites.  Any quote suggestions for us to try?

Maybe not exactly spot-on. I live with some pretty awesome people.

 But it did make me smile when I opened it. :)

I put this one up in honor of my son's high school graduation.  I have always been inspired by this quote by St. Catherine of Sienna.  We are already created just as God wants us to be!

This has long been one of my favorites, especially in the early years of parenting, when the days were so long and hard.  It's not always easy to be in the moment, but as the years pass, the more I try to be.

And this one, which I just put up last night.  My dear Anne Shirley,

 always appreciating the beauty around her, which October so gloriously provides. 

The Light Saber Devotion

Last weekend, my husband told a story in his homily about one of our boys.  As we talked about it, I realized, though it is an oft-told memory in our family, I had never blogged about it.  I did, however, write about it in a short collection of pre-Lenten devotions I wrote several years ago.  So, since this blog is the place for family memories to be immortalized, below is the original devotion about the light saber story. :)

The Lord be with You. . .Because the Force Isn't!

Reading:  For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith.  Romans 3:23-25

Many years ago, one of our sons received a light saber as a gift.  Actually, if memory serves, all three of our sons received a light saber, and I have no one to blame by myself, since I was the purchaser of these weapons.  But they're boys!  Boys need light sabers, right?  So said my husband!  That is what I told myself while standing in the toy section at Kohl's, three light sabers in hand.  I recall even calling my husband -- is it really a good idea to give three wild and crazy little boys weapons? On purpose?  He reassured me that it would be fine, so I used my Kohl's coupon and bought all three for Christmas.

Fast forward a month or two.  The boys love the light sabers.  "Thank you mom and dad, you're the best!"  They understood the rules:  no light sabers open and wielding on the main floor -- they were only allowed to be used in the basement. Things were going along pretty well and the boys were following the rules and using them responsibly.  I'm sure I was patting myself on the back about our decision.

But one winter evening, when Daddy was out of town (of course!), one of our sons was holding his (unopened, therefore legally allowed) light saber in the family room.  And for reasons still not fully known to us, the Force was in reverse and the light saber flew right out of his hand.  Through the sidelight of our picture window.  Our just-replaced-two-years-ago picture window.

Immediate tears and hysteria ensued, followed by a phone call to Daddy (which began with me saying, "Are you sitting down?" and ended with a tearful apology and forgiveness granted).

We soon got an estimate to repair the window, and it came in at $400.  Our young son wanted to make things right.  He insisted that he pay for that new window.  $400?  Even if he saved every penny for the next five years, he wouldn't be bale to pay that debt.  So he handed over what he had, which totaled about $15.

$15?  Way short of a new window!  The window had to be fixed but he couldn't pay it.  So we covered the rest.  We paid a debt our son couldn't pay.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? We Christians call it "grace".  We receive what we don't deserve.  Mercy.  "All have sinned and fall short". Way short.  But we are "justified" (made right with God) "by his grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith".

My son was grateful for our forgiveness to him, even at his young age.  As we prepare to enter Lent in just two days, may we grow increasingly grateful for this great grace that has been gifted to us:  the blood of Jesus that covers our sins.

Discussion/Reflection:  When did you receive a gift (maybe forgiveness) that you didn't deserve?  How did you react?

Prayer:  We do not deserve it, Jesus, but you give it anyway. Thank you for your grace and make our gratitude grow.  Amen.

On Time Travel

My high school English teacher asked for essays on Facebook and gave all her friends this prompt:

If you could go backwards or forwards in time, would you? Which way? What year or time period? Where geographically? Why did you choose that time and place?

My aunt wrote a lovely piece about going to church with her family when she was small, and I adored reading her memories about her mom and dad (my grandparents), especially since her dad died when she was young.  After I read her memories, I pondered the prompt myself.  What time period would I enjoy going to?

Backward to my own childhood, full of beautiful memories and happiness?  Forward to see my children and grandchildren many years from now?  Backward to a specific historic event? But while these would all be meaningful, I kept coming back to another time:  when my own children were little.  

Having big kids (and almost-big kids) is fabulous!  I've blogged time and again about how wonderful parenting teens and young adults is proving to be.  But I cannot tell a lie.  My heart still pines for some things that are behind us now, and oh how much I'd love to catch some glimpses of those days again.  In no particular order, moments I'd love to revisit:

• baby snuggles: Even in the middle of the night, while sleep deprived!  Oh how I'd love to cuddle my babes, smell their baby scent and kiss those velvety cheeks.
• toddler laughter: I'm so thankful I teach preschoolers, because I still am able to hear and soak in the euphoria of a toddler or preschooler.  How I'd love to hear my little ones cracking up over their own jokes, the hilarity of a zoo animal or while having their tummy tickled.
• wrestling:  This still happens here, and I'm super glad it does.  It was a little different back then, though, and I'd love to hear my husband announce "Switch ON!" and hear the squeals of delight as all the kids tackled daddy.
• firsts:  First steps, first baths, first words, first day of school.  So many exciting moments when you're small!  
• holding hands: While I am still grateful to have one child young enough to hold hands with her mamma, I miss the days when my two hands weren't enough.  I recall walking ahead of my children and putting my hands out behind me, palms to the rear, and knowing that within seconds, both my hands would be filled with a chubby little hand.
• Speaking of, chub:  Oh, the chubby little legs, hands, cheeks, and arms.  How I would love to stroke a chubby little cheek again or change a diaper with chubby thighs wiggling everywhere.
• Bible stories and prayers:  We still do both now, but I'd love to go back to the crazy bedtimes, full of wiggles and prayers only little ones can dream up, but sincere nonetheless.
• I love yous:  Again, I am so thankful that my kids still tell me they love me, but how I'd love to hear a little voice proclaiming it, with such euphoria.  Or to hear one of my sons say, as he so often did: "I love you, little mommy!"

I know those days were hard.  They were often really, really hard.  But they were also wonderful, and I enjoyed them so much, even amidst the exhaustion and angst I sometimes felt.  And as I said earlier, each subsequent stage has been full of its own beauty and wonder.  Perhaps, if I pondered this question again in 10-15 years,  I'd be anxious to come back to the this very time I'm in now -- of tweens, teens and young adults and everyone (mostly) at home.

But for today, I'm content in reminiscing about those early years, when things felt a bit simpler and oh-so-precious.  

On Leaving One's Second Child at College

 A week ago yesterday, we took our second child to college.  A few thoughts on that endeavor:

• People said, "Oh, I know you had a hard time taking your daughter to school, but it's much easier the second time!".  Lemme tell you something:  Those people are either lying to your face or fooling themselves, because it was Not Easier.  The days and hours leading up to his departure were full of leaky eyes on my part and nostalgic conversations between my husband and me. (Side note, I do not recommend leaving midday to take a child to college -- there are too many hours before you leave of wandering around the house, making sure you have "everything", trying not to cry, and trying to keep busy.  This is only recommended if your husband has a commitment midday and an early morning departure is unavailable.  Carry on.)  
• Watching your child walk away from you, knowing they are walking into a great big unknown, and you won't see them for weeks and weeks, is really hard.  Like, that's an understatement.  To really terrify younger parents, I will say it this way:  It feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest.  I got in the car promptly to let my husband say goodbye and to save my son from seeing his mother lose it and proceeded to sob for much of the 1:45 drive home.
• Texting is a gift to college parents.  My college daughter and I text every day, sometimes multiple times a day.  I knew this would not be the case with my son, so I have a few tricks up my sleeve, in case they are needed, to receive "proof of life" return texts.  But I'm happy to say that I have not needed to resort to them just yet, as he has been pretty good about texting us this past week.  And when he doesn't respond, I don't mind, because it means he is busy and out making friends. But as I thought when my daughter went to school, I thought now again, "my poor parents!".  My sister and I left home, and my parents had to go days and days without knowing how we were doing, and then when we did talk, it was once or twice a week, in timed phone calls so the bill wouldn't be exorbitant.  Parents today get to text whenever they want, and Facetime their college kids.  I am so very thankful for technology as a college parent! (I blogged about this when my daughter left for college as well - you can read about that here.) 
• Younger parents, I hope you're still reading this part:  While it is incredibly hard to let your child go away, I have learned now, doing it twice, that I can do it.  I know it will sting each time (I have three more drop offs to manage!), but I also know that this is what I want for my son/daughter, and that they are ready to soar!  Hearing from the newly minted college student that he/she is doing well soothes the ache tremendously, and reminds my mamma's heart that this is what should be.  That while the time for their leaving comes way too quickly for my heart, I know it is what is best for them.  And knowing that takes away a bit of the sting.
• My final thought:  My children are not alone when they are away.  With both of our kids so far, as they've chosen a college and prepared to leave home, we've actively talked with them about finding a church to attend and ways to find a faith community at their schools.  What comfort it brings me to know that they are meeting people who share their faith, and attending worship and communing with other Christians. And most importantly, God is ever present at their side.  As my husband and I pray for our children who've left the nest, we can take great comfort in knowing that God is with them even when we cannot be.  What a joy to know that they are never alone.

The Graduate, Part Two

 It seems to have taken me forever to blog about this, but better late than never!  My son, our second child, has graduated from high school and will be leaving for college two weeks from today.  

This child has had all the crazy thrown at him his senior year. . .no prom, no awards night, no spring show, no saying goodbye to friends on the last day of school.  He walked out of school on Mar. 13, not knowing he wouldn’t be back. He decided on a college to attend while quarantined.  He took AP exams online with the rest of the country (amid all sorts of technological challenges), and he watched his graduation date get bumped out to July.  He wrote his salutatorian speech at home and practiced with his buddy the valedictorian over FaceTime. He attended his baccalaureate and graduation wearing a mask, but still was able to share his heart with his classmates.  We took pictures with his friends, in masks, because hey - this is the memory! His grad party had to be amended time and time again due to a number of obstacles, but we were able to carry on and celebrate him and his achievements.  And now, in two weeks, he will be leaving the nest.  Sniff, sniff.

If covid has taught us all anything, it’s to appreciate the important things in life (and also to be very, very flexible).  And man, I appreciate this boy.  From his crazy humor to his philosophical discourses, from his deep theological pondering to his constant banter with his siblings and us, I enjoy this child young man. Our house is a better place with him in it.  

And now he will be leaving. BUT - if you can believe it, I have so wanted him to get to go.  As everything has been so tenuous, my biggest hope has been that my college kids get to GO to school. And it looks like he will be able to and I’m so thankful.  I am going to miss him with a fierce ache, but he’s so ready for this.  He’s been ready for a year, and now we get to watch him spread his wings and fly.  

Saying I’m so proud of him doesn’t sound quite right — it connotes some sort of achievement on my part. But I am so proud of who he has become and is becoming.  A man of strong moral character, a deep faith, a quick wit and a man who works hard to achieve his goals.  It’s hard to believe the time has (almost) come for him to fly from the nest, but I know he’s ready.  And that means I’ll be ready too.

Mosquitoes, Burritos, and Shivs, oh my!

We got home from camping in the UP last night, and I have been doing laundry nonstop since then (aside for a scant 7-hour too-short sleep).  I have two loads to go to be caught up (and then I'll start in on what we've been accruing since we got home!).  BUT -- the laundry and post-vacay long list is worth it!  A few of my thoughts about our trip:

• Beauty:  We stayed near/on Lake Superior our entire stay, and it was beautiful!  Cold, but gorgeous.  I love the water (to look at, not so much be out on), and the backdrop of rocky formations/towering grassy hills and radiant sunsets filled my heart up.  We hiked high and far and took in as many views as possible.  I also soaked up the beauty of the people around me:  my 10-year-old daughter dancing on the shoreline, silhouetted by the brilliant sun, hair flying, and the laughter and frivolity of my husband, boys and youngest daughter playing in freezing Superior (whoever didn't catch the ball had to go under - brrr!). 
• Wildlife:  While this trip didn't offer as many wildlife sightings as other trips have, we saw a few species that were noteworthy:  Eagles (at least two swooping overhead, low), raccoons (two of which were fighting one night just next to/under our pop-up bed over trail mix we had forgotten was in a hiking backpack), biting flies (causing bumps and bites galore until the wind/rain drove them away after several days), and mosquitoes (see biting fly explanation).
• Entrepreneurship: In a throwback to a trip we took several years ago, the three younger kids recreated their "Grilled Cheese Business".  One lunch near the end of our trip, we were served by hilarious waitstaff and short order cooks.  Once again, we kaboshed the attempted sandwich named "Grilled Cheesus".  Bonus:  they even took Apple Pay!
• Music:  Every year for our trips, we come home solidly having chosen a theme song for the trip, usually one that we have played multiple times on all our long drives.  This year we didn't drive nearly as much (only about 18-20 hours total) and a theme song was unclear.  One child was trying to declare it "Copa Cabana", but there's no sense in forcing important things like theme songs.  After a bit of floundering, someone declared it Tchaikovsky in general, due to my eldest son playing it often in his headphones and for us.  (Sidenote - I attempted to type Tchaikovsky's name above, waiting for spell check to help me, and I got it right on the first try.  This is a valuable life skill, surely?)
• Extended Family:  The first part of our trip was spent with my whole family, and it was so lovely to spend time with all of them.  My mom and dad and my sister and I have a text thread we've dubbed the "Fab Four", and for one of the afternoons there, the Fab Four (plus one fabulous niece**) spent the day shopping in Houghton's cute downtown.
• A true getaway:  While we did mask up every time we went indoors anywhere, being in the UP really felt like we were away.  Fewer people, fewer crowded areas, and fewer thoughts of Covid.  Hours would go by and I would forget about the virus and all it entails.  It was great to leave it all behind for a bit before we gear up for the fall and everything that will be happening as we return to school.
• Doppelgangers: One of our boys has really light blonde hair, and the kids were amazed at how many little boys we saw who looked like their brother when he was young.  Every where we turned, there was our almost-fourteen-year-old as a toddler again.  It made my heart hurt a bit, remembering the adorable little guy he was.
• Catchphrases:  While we didn't seem to settle in on a theme song, we had no shortage of ridiculous phrases being thrown around constantly. I realize these will make no sense to anyone else, but I document them here for family posterity:  Chungus, filthy hekker, it's a Chewsday, innit?, 3,2,1 burrito!, and also the random rude armpit noise. 
• Weaponry: Over the course of about a week, one of my boys took to whittling.  It was a little nerve-wracking, watching him handle a knife wildly as he worked on his masterpiece.  But it turns out the finished product was more terrifying than the process in which it was created.  His shiv was wielded at anyone who offended him, and he was often seen stroking his face with the point of the blade in a most creepy manner.  Lest he stab himself with it while we were driving, I had to take possession of it on the way home.
• Near misses:  One of our boys really wanted to visit a nearby mine, but it was too expensive for us to all tour, so we had to skip it. Several days later, we took a hike through an old mining area.  One of my children kindly suggested that they throw their brother into the mine since he missed the experience earlier.  Soon comparisons to Joseph and covering his clothes in goat's blood were being thrown around.  You'll be glad to know that no children were hurt during our mine hike.
• Games:  Though we played several games, one stands head and shoulders above the rest: Throw Throw Burrito.  Given to us to try by our youth director just before we left, we had hours of fun screaming "Burrito Brawl" and "3,2,1 Burrito", then rapidly flinging squishy burritos at each other.  Of course, on a campsite, where many other people were nearby, no matter how "quietly" we played, our game drew attention.  Our neighbors at one of our sites had two small boys, who covertly laid under their camper to watch us, and who we later heard yelling, "3,2,1 Burrito".  The squishy burritos are looking a little bedraggled now.
• Shoes: One of my boys brought an extra pair of shoes that he was trying to keep nice.  He laid them in between his seat and his sister's in the way back of the car.  When my husband would brake quickly, he would stick out his arm (mom-arm style) to keep the shoes from falling to the floor.  My eldest daughter, sitting back there with him,  recounted this to us during one ride.  She finished the story, laughingly with this: "And you know the worst part?  I've started sticking my arm out to save the shoes now too!"

Ah, family vacations.  Equal parts beauty, family time, laughter and joy.  And also some random complaining and fighting, but hey, nothing's perfect!   I'm thankful we have been able to take these family camping trips, even as the kids get older (and with coronavirus messing up so many plans!).  Till next summer, vacation!  Thanks for all the memories!

**Lest I get a big head after my euphoria over spelling Tchaikovsky's name correctly, my first attempt at spelling niece did not go as smoothly as typing Russian composer's names). 

The Week In Pictures

My last few posts have been lazy, I see, usually using pictures instead of true blogging.  Sigh.  The quarantine has been amazing in the family-time category, but not all that fabulous in the free-time category.  But as of yesterday, all the kids are out of school, and I will be finishing up in my classroom next week and soon done for the summer as well.  So maybe I'll be able to dedicate a little more time to writing (in several capacities). . . but who knows.  There was talk today of painting a bedroom, soooo. . .

Anyway, a few pics that sum up the recent past around this place:

This pillow, given to me by my husband for my birthday, is my favorite! During Lent, one of my disciplines was kneeling at my bedside while doing my evening prayers/devotions. My husband thoughtfully got me this pillow for me to kneel on, with my grandma's favorite verse printed on it.  I love it!  Every night when I kneel down, I pray this verse as I begin.  And bonus - my old lady knees aren't in as much pain now! :) 

Hello yellow!  Yellow and navy and gray are my jam these days!  Two years ago we repainted most of the downstairs in a greige of sorts and painted some of the kitchen in navy also.  I've loved it so much that I got new bedding/accessories in my bedroom in navy/gray also.  This spring, while we've been at home all the livelong day, I added yellow.  Until last summer, I abhorred the color yellow in all decorating.  But after I painted my laundry room gray with yellow accents last summer,  I flipped a switch and now I'm all about the yellow.  So this little functional tray on our island is just one of several pops of yellow scattered throughout my first floor.  So summery and bright and cheerful!  

For Mother's Day, my dear children (led and facilitated and masterminded by my eldest daughter), purchased this letter board for me, and my daughter decided to make this our first sentiment on it.  I thought it was so cute and spot on, of course! :)  I look forward to using it for all sorts of things (welcoming guests (if we're ever able to have any again!), bible verses, holiday/birthday greetings and the like).  So fun!  I'm pretty fond of the "other people" who live here. 

Shadow puppy, looking out the window, in gleeful anticipation of my arrival home.  He rarely looks out of the upstairs windows like this, but my daughter snapped this pic while I was gone and it made me smile.  I've said it before and I'll say it again. . .no one loves me like this dog loves me!

The Week in Pictures

A little sum up of our last week-ish:

Toilet Paper!  This picture was taken early on in the quarantine.  But don't jump to conclusions -- I'm not a hoarder, or at least not a conscientious one!  I buy all our toilet paper from Amazon's subscribe and save, and somewhere in late February (I think. . . time seems a bit foggy these days and late February feels like 6 years ago) I accidentally received two giant shipments.  As I was putting it away (in our ottoman - don't YOU store toilet paper in YOUR furniture?), I was siltenlty chastising myself for not catching the double shipment.  Oh well, I thought, as I found new places to store the extra pacakges, I know it will all get used eventually, so I guess it doesn't matter.  HA!  When everyone began freaking out about toilet paper, I just smiled to myself and knew we'd be okay for awhile.  Well. . .now we're starting to run low.  All the bathrooms are stocked, but the ottoman is bare.  I stopped into Dollar General the other day and found some paltry DG brand TP, but I gotta say, I'm a little concerned now.  Amazon has failed me and is not sending out any of my shipments that were normally scheduled.  What's a fam to do?  I don't know.  Stay tuned.  Or better yet, tell me where to buy toilet paper please.

New appliances!  After more than two months without a dishwasher, with most of that time being during the quarantine, we bought a new dishwasher.  (And stove.  Because why not have multiple appliances die and therefore dump more money into them all at once?  Stimulus money in, stimulus money out.)  You might recall that I blogged here about my romantic visions of hand washing all our dishes.  And, while the kids might not admit it, I truly think it was a great experience.  I certainly wasn't expecting the quarantine to happen while we were without a dishwasher, but because it did, we were able to maintain a great schedule for dishwashing, and the kids got some quality time together after every meal. The singing and razzing and general sibling bonding made my heart happy.  I'm glad we have the new one, but I'm also a little sad that our hand washing days are over.

Shadow's birthday!  Shadow turned ten and my kids made him a doggie banana cake.  They plopped a big blog of peanut butter on top and stuck a doggie bone on top.  It was the most glorious meal Shadow has ever been given (this does not include all the meals he has stolen from the counter, dinner table, end tables, unsuspecting guest's laps and the like).  The peanut butter stuck to his tongue and mouth, making him hilarious to watch.  I snapped a bunch of pics as he worked to enjoy his treat.  Also,  I think he was truly moved by our rendition of Happy Birthday.

Smoke alarms.  Do they EVER chirp for low battery during the day? The answer is an unequivocal NO.  And if they do at your house, don't tell me!  I don't wanna know!  I woke up the other night at 1:30 am to hear the dog's strangled bark downstairs (where he rarely is at night - he usually doesn't leave my side of the bed all night).  I bolted up and downstairs, certain he was hurt or something.  He was at the bottom of the stairs with his ball in his mouth, a sure sign he was hearing a noise that hurt his ears (one of the reasons we had to replace the stove was because it kept beeping and turning off, also causing Shadow to whimper and run to grab a ball to hold).  Sure enough, the smoke alarm chirped and poor Shadow whimpered again.  Sigh.  Because 1:30 am, groggy, without my glasses on, seems like a good time to dismantle electronics and look for 9 volt batteries.

The Week in Pictures

In late February, I did a quick redo of our bedroom.  New quilt, rugs, curtains etc -- and these pillows.  The whole thing made me so happy. . .navy and gray, my new faves, which my husband noted seem to be taking over the house (I'm okay with that!).  But these pillows!  Who knew, when I bought them, that "let's stay home" would be the defining theme of 2020! 

We did a puzzle swap with some friends a few weeks ago and this is the puzzle we received.  It is obvious that our friends actually hate us, as this puzzle was created by the devil himself.  After 1.5 hours, my daughter and I had only the outline done and were experiencing feelings of anger and frustration, and also neck pain. We left it on the island for about two days, my daughter having high hopes for our abilities and also our patience level, but then I scrapped it.  I couldn't stand how it was taunting us, with its pink and red leaves, so horribly monochromatic. It's still in our house, but after the quarantine is over, I think I'll regift it to our "friends" in a very special way.

Aldi candles!  During the quarantine, I have only been doing grocery pick up at Kroger.  For the first 3+ weeks, I had not stepped foot into a store, and I was having serious shopping withdrawal. But I felt it most responsible to continue with only pick ups, even though I was desperately missing lots of our Aldi favorites (Aldi instacart is too expensive for me - I just couldn't pull the trigger).  But when my husband asked what I wanted for my birthday dinner, I chose salmon, which Kroger was out of (quarantines cause a run on salmon?).  SO - one morning last week, I braved the general public and went to Aldi promptly when they opened.  I got my salmon, and $150 worth of other Aldi faves, and was in and out in 13 minutes (I'm no amateur!). While it didn't exactly appease my shopping desires, being so quick a trip, it did garner these two fabulous candles! Recommended highly by a friend, I was thrilled when I saw them in the special buy aisle (a dangerous aisle, and also my favorite) and let myself buy two.  They smell fabulous, and help me pretend that it's springtime, even though it's snowing today.

Our family altar, during our worship-at-home services.  Since last week was Holy Week, we had services every day, and the altar was well used.  Sitting on the bench just under the TV, where we airplay the services, it brought me great joy and added such depth to our family room church.  Our houses are indeed "little churches" - the domestic church, and having this as a focal point as we worshiped was much appreciated. 

Holy Week at Home

We all experienced a unique Holy week and Easter this year.  No extended family gatherings, no community Easter Egg hunts, and no worship in our church building. This last one was the most challenging for me, as the Triduum (Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and the Easter Vigil) are my three favorite days of the church year. But, among the tears and sadness at being apart from our church family, communing together, and simply being in our church, I noticed some unique blessings come from our at-home worship experiences.

• Washing my children's feet.  On Holy Thursday, we participated in the foot washing at home, as the pastors did it in the service.  Our church does a foot washing each year, with several people going up for the washing, a sort of representation of all us.  This year, though, we were all encouraged to take part in our homes, and the result was that one of my children washed my feet; lovingly and tenderly.  After that, I was able to wash the feet of one of my boys;  giant, man feet that I don't routinely touch.  And it was lovely.  As I washed his feet, I thought of those same feet when they were small, and how I had washed them in the tub more times than I can count.  As I washed his feet, I pondered what a gift I have in serving these children.
• For the whole week, we've had our crucifix sitting on the bench just under our TV.  It's a beautiful antique crucifix which our friend gave us last year for our birthdays.  Having it there, just under where we watched worship, was a great focal point for us at home.  On Good Friday, we had a moment during the service to venerate or adore the cross.  Each of the kids and I came up to the cross and touched it, knelt before it and prayed by it.  We do this at church each year, with the big wooden cross there, but this was different and special.  We had candles lit by the cross and the room had darkened as dusk approached.  It was very meaningful.
• The vigil was especially poignant for me. This service is always so special to me and so moving.  Our first four children have all been confirmed at this service, and this year my youngest daughter was going to receive early communion at the vigil. During the opening songs, as the church was dark and the candles all lit, I was unexpectedly weepy.  Oh, how I longed to be in that place, surrounded by our extended family, and our larger church family.  To be singing those vigil-specific pieces while holding our candles.  I was overwhelmed with desire to be in God's house, with God's people.  But as the service continued, I settled in, once again, to the beauty of being in my house, with God's people.  And by the end of the service, as we sang the final hymn together, with gusto, I thanked God for the opportunity to worship in this way, for this time. 
• And finally, Easter morning.  Candles lit again, water prepared for our baptismal remembrance ritual, I praised God in my heart for his great sacrifice on the cross.  Singing those time honored hymns and songs --"O death, where is your sting? O hell, where is your vicotry?" -- my heart was stirred in love for my Savior, who gave his life for mine. 

Holy Week and Easter at home, while not what I hope for in the future, turned out to be greatly moving and meaningful to me and our family.  God works through everything, and His timing is always perfect. 

Christ is risen!  He is risen indeed! Alleluia! 

Things I’m Learning During the Quarantine

So we’re on day 12 of the quarantine, and I’m learning a few things.  Here’s a little sum up:

• Seven people, eating EVERY meal in the house, EVERY day, eat A LOT of food.  I’m not allowing much grazing, but even so, it is amazing how much we are going through.  I usually go to the grocery once a week, but this week I had to make another grocery pick up order to keep us stocked!  
• Regardless of the amount of food being eaten, I am absolutely loving setting the table for seven literally every night. During normal life, we try to eat together, in the dining room, as many times are possible each week.  But now, we have eaten all dinners together, in the dining room, for the last 12+ nights.  Each night, it makes me so happy to count seven plates out for the table.  In the history of marriage and family life, I don’t think we have ever had this many meals together in row, with the exception possibly of vacations.
• We have just enough rooms in our house to facilitate remote learning/working.  We have kids and parents working in the dining room, bedrooms, basement, living room and family rooms.  Everyone is plugged into a various device, which we just have enough of, and now and then we hear preschool music or teaching or a zoom/google meet meeting burst out of someone’s computer. It’s been fun to hear the kids’ classmates talking to each other, and see my college daughter’s profs teaching her classes.
• Schedules are my jam. All right, I already knew that one, but the quarantine has definitely reiterated it to me and our family.  We have rhythms in place now for work, school, meals, chores, family game and movie time, and free time.  Everyone balked at the loose schedule we decreed, but I think everyone has settled into it now.  I have gone back to my two-days-a-week laundry schedule, just like in  days of yore when I stayed home, and I love it.  The dishes are being washed by two happy begrudging children (more on that below) each day, and everyone is vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms weekly as well.  
• Just before Ash Wednesday, our dishwasher’s motor went out.  My last blogpost waxed eloquent about the joys of hand washing dishes and how doing so would bring us closer together.  Soon after it went out, I decided to give up the dishwasher for Lent.  The kids cried foul, citing that THEY didn’t give it up, and they would be put to work.  I was undeterred.  It would be good for us all, said I, and led us forth into Lent.  Aaaaaand cue the quarantine.  Remember what I said about seven people eating a lot?  Well, they also use a lot of dishes each day.  It probably hasn’t been the greatest timing to be dishwasher free, but I still maintain that the two kids assigned each day to the dishes (and the duo changes every day - each kid washes three days a week)  are enjoying quality sibling time.  And I’m still doing a lot of dish duty myself, but I don’t really mind it.
• And finally, in addition to all the glorious family time, I am being reminded daily, hourly, that God is one step ahead of us (ok, He knows the entire path ahead of us!) and that He never leaves us or forsakes us.  This slower pace has granted all of us more personal devotional time (every morning for everyone, first thing) and family devotional time after dinner.  While I am sorry for the circumstances of the quarantine, I am thankful for all the blessings God has provided us during it. 

Let's Dish!

Our dishwasher stopped working several days ago, and I had a repair man out today to diagnose the issue.  He was a very nice man, who I paid $85 to tell me that the motor is bad and will cost $400. 

Sigh.

A new, basic model is about that price, so it seems unlikely that we will put that much money into this one (which is only 3-4 years old!).  So now we will be thinking about getting a new one I suppose.

But since the repair man left this morning, I've been thinking about doing dishes.  At the sink, the old-fashioned way.  And perhaps I'm romanticizing this chore, but doing the dishes several times a day doesn't sound like the end of the world to me.  Doing the dishes by hand can:

• create opportunities for conversation.  Some of my best holiday memories as an adult are those of doing dishes with my extended family.  We laugh, talk and spend time together over the hot soapy water.  When we go camping, the kids/adults assigned to dishes each night often end up messing around, laughing and having fun.  
• take me down memory lane.  Growing up, we didn't have a dishwasher, so my sister and I dutifully washed and dried them each night.  Drying was the much preferred chore (because sometimes if mom and dad weren't paying attention, you could skip the chore, and let them air dry).  I can have countless memories of my sister and I at the sink.  When we used to whine and beg for a dishwasher, my dad, ever the comedian, would say "Why do we need a dishwasher?  We have two beautiful dishwashers already!". 
• create opportunities to serve.  When we were first married, my husband and I lived in an old upstairs converted apartment.  It had been converted ages earlier, and had no dishwasher -- only a shallow one-basin sink.  Doing dishes was a tedious chore in that ancient kitchen, and one I put off often (I have changed a lot since then, regarding what I can handle being left on the kitchen counter!).  One Saturday we had a large group over for dinner, leaving a mess in the kitchen.  For some reason, we didn't do the dishes on Sunday (re: apparently I didn't care about a mess back then!!), and when I left to teach and my husband left for classes on Monday morning, they were still sitting there, taunting me.  All day long, I kept thinking of those dishes, lying in wait for me when I got home.  But when I arrived home after a full day of teaching middle schoolers, the kitchen was clean, and all the dishes washed and put away.  My husband had had some unexpected time in his day and was able to get them done. Seeing that clean kitchen was like a Christmas gift to me!
• provide some quiet time for contemplation.  Over the last few days, I've found doing all the dishes by hand to be somewhat therapeutic.  Just as I feel about folding laundry, I haven't minded the repetition and the moments for quiet retrospection.  
• provide quality time with my children.  As I said earlier, doing the dishes can provide opportunities to talk.  Every time I have washed a batch this week, I've grabbed the nearest child and had him/her dry them with me.  And each time, we've chatted - sometimes about nothing important but other times about weightier things.  I look forward to more conversations like these, and of course, more laughter -- always so much laughter.

I'm sure in a week or two I'll be weary of hand washing dishes for 6-7 people multiple times a day.  I may be ready to beg a Best Buy employee to give me a good deal on a new dishwasher.

But until then, I'm going to relish the opportunities doing the dishes provides.

Four Teenagers in the Hooooouse (second edition)

Last summer, my fourth child had his 13th birthday, thereby bestowing on our family the honor of having four teenagers in our family. 

Does that sound terrifying?  I suppose it could be!  But it hasn't been.

It's been awesome.

And the four-teenager-run is about to come to end, never to happen in our family again (we will miss it by about 10 months with the last four kids). 

I have to say, I'm a little sorry to see it go.  Before we had teenagers, when we were in the throes of diapers and tantrums and toys underfoot constantly and no sleep and chasing toddlers and general exhaustion, everyone said "Oh, just wait till you have teenagers!", with an air of impending doom. 

But people, I'm here to tell you: there has been no doom impended upon us, only joy*.  Having teenagers has been a learning experience, to be sure.  I've learned:

• how funny my children are! I never dreamed these little people we created would make me laugh so. dang. much.  They crack me up with their crazy voices and accents and commentaries.  Regardless of what we're doing, their antics are likely to have me in tears.
• to change my dinner table expectations.  Dinner at our house is a sight to behold.  Some kids are stealthily feeding the dog, other kids are asking philosophical questions, others are laughing with a sibling across the table and others might be simply talking louder than the sib next to them. It's loud and crazy and fabulous.
• to appreciate them for who they are.  As the kids get older, their perspectives are becoming more pronounced, and I am learning to embrace how they think and look at life.  My husband and I continue to shape, teach and direct them, but more and more they are making decisions on their own.  It's been so lovely to watch them turn into independent young people.
• how grateful I am.  Every day, every moment is a gift.  When the kids were young, I often felt like I was lucky to be keeping my head above water.  Now, though life is at full tilt all the time, it's different.  I am able now, because I see the end of the family years looming ahead of us, to better appreciate all the beauty I see in front of me.  Every vacation, holiday, game night, and special dinner feels weightier to me.  While I always knew my children were a blessing, as they get older, I more fully see the gifts that they are to us.  

Next month, my eldest daughter will turn 20, and a new era of parenting will be upon us; parenting young adults.  A new set of skills will be required of us.  It's always hard for me to let go and accept change, but at the same time, I'm excited about this next chapter ahead too.  The last 20 years have been full of joy and blessings, and I know God will continue to give us just what we need in the years to come.

*Well, okay, not 100% joy all the time, because they are still indeed humans, and therefore tend to be peskily sinful.

Hymn Sing

Tonight after dinner, we sang our nightly hymn for our family devotions (#676 LSB Behold a Host, Arrayed in White - one of my favorites).  When we were done, I invited commanded one child to do the dishes and the rest to clear, as per our nightly custom.  After the usual silly complaints, the table was cleared and the dining room vacated.  Under the back drop of children's antics, I sat and flipped through the hymnal, singing the occasional stanza of a favorite now and then.  Within a few moments, I grabbed a post it and penned the following list:

Hymns/Songs for my Funeral Concert

For All the Saints

Jerusalem, My Happy Home

Behold, a Host Arrayed in White

The Church's One Foundation

I Know that My Redeemer Lives

Christ is Risen

Alive, Again

Untitled Hymn

Perhaps this is morbid?  I don't know.  I'm always telling my poor husband,  "When I die, you should have this hymn (song) at my funeral". I finally realized that I wanted so many pieces that maybe we better call it a concert. :) 

These hymns and songs are so meaningful to me.  The saints! Christ's resurrection!  The Church! Heaven!  My faith is strengthened and I am often moved to tears literally every time I sing any of them.  What joy and hope and comfort they all give me!

What are your favorites?  What hymns/songs speak to you?