Things That Bring Me Joy

In no particular order, a few things that bring me Great and Abiding Joy :) 

Shadow, or as we call him, Shadow da babies.  Or as he has been recently nicknamed by one of my boys, Stinky, which I must admit is an appropriate moniker.  This (mostly) good boy loves his mamma so much!  He follows me from room to room, watches for me to come home at the dining room window, and loves to cuddle in bed with me (which is not always allowed!).  He's getting a bit older and slightly more gray (join the club, puppers!), but he's still a sweet playful boy at heart.  He's been a good addition to our family these last many years. 

A new Cricut!  I received this beautiful piece of machinery as a Christmas gift and I LOVE it!  And I also love that my 20-year-old daughter figured out how to run it and the computer program so I didn't have to!  We've been making ornaments and the like, with plans to try a few other things soon.  It's so fun!  But I'm not looking forward to having to learn the computer program when she goes back to school.  

Christmas decor and buffalo plaid!  I have been drawn to (read: obsessed!) black and white buffalo plaid this Christmas.  I am loving decorating in the simplicity of black and white.  My kids are not totally on board though - "why are you decorating with boring colors, mom?  Where's the red?"  Sigh.  You can't win them all.  One kid, however, said this a few days ago:  "Mom, the outside of our house is lame at Christmas." As I prepared to defend myself, citing white lights and garland around the front door, the child continued, "But the inside is hecka vibey!"  I'm not totally familiar with that phrase, but I'm pretty sure hecka vibey is a compliment.  I'll take it!

This meme.  Wow, does it summarize where I'm at with my boys these days.  One minute I was their world -- a kiss and hug from me could solve all their problems, and the next minute I'm getting a random hug from a giant man-child while being called bruh.  It happened in a matter of minutes I tell you.  Moms of little boys, hold on tight. It's a bumpy ride, but it's so awesome.

 

Thank You

I woke up at 4:00 am this morning, overwhelmed with thankfulness for our church family.  Unable to go back to sleep right away, I decided to get up and write down my thoughts.  

So my dear Trinity, thank you:

Thank you for loving my children.  Thank you for loving them when they were yet unborn through prayer and support.  Thank you for loving them when they were little and sitting still in church with their mamma seemed an impossible task - for years and years and years.  Thank you for loving them when they were cute, silly and also crazy. Thank you for loving them when they made mistakes (such as, but not limited to: pushing a table into the wall in the hallway and making a hole in the drywall).  Thank you for not expecting them to be perfect but understanding that they are children (and now young adults!), not just PKs (pastor's kids).  Thank you for thinking of them on their birthdays and at holidays! Thank you for supporting them as they've gotten older, asking them about school, college, life.  Thank you for praying for them (sometimes by name!) and letting them know you care for them.  Thank you for loving them, and us through that.

Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for loving me just where I am, and not where you might think I should be as a pastor's wife.  Thank you for not having preconceived expectations of what a pastor's wife should or shouldn't be and imposing them on me. Thank you for your kindness to me day in and day out -- when we first arrived and I was figuring this life out, when I was a young mother learning my way each week in the pew, and as the years have passed, as simply a friend and fellow parishioner.  Thank you for taking an interest in my life too, and supporting me.  Thank you most of all for loving me as I strive to support and be a helpmate to your pastor.

And thank you most of all for loving my husband.  Thank you for encouraging him, praying for him and building him up.  Thank you for seeing the best in him and knowing his heart -- that his every decision and choice is born out of prayer for the people of his parish.  Thank you for trusting him with all your moments -- baptisms, weddings, and loved ones' funerals.  Thank you for turning to him when you're hurting, sad, and afraid.  Thank you for giving him the opportunity to pray for you during your struggles, and for the gift of celebrating confession and absolution with you.   Thank you for inviting him into your homes and making him feel welcome. Thank you for laughing when he's goofy and appreciating his love for 80s rap! Thank you for knowing who he is -- not only how he shepherds his flock, but his likes and dislikes and what makes him unique and special.  And with teary eyes, I thank you most of all for praying for him -- that God would give him wisdom and would guide his thoughts and words as he works tirelessly to bring Jesus to the people God has entrusted him to lead.  

We've been here for over 22 years, and this little blogpost only scratches the surface of what the people of Trinity mean to me. And like I posted about here, through our shared moments we have become more than just "people who go to the same church".  We have become family.  

So thank you, thank you, thank you.  Thank you for letting us into your lives and embracing all of us, faults and all.  Know that you are always in our hearts and prayers.  Thank you for being our family.

Preschool Stories

A couple of preschool stories for you:

Friday was a beautiful day, so before I got my students settled in for their nap, I grabbed a couple of books and their corresponding stuffed animal characters and told the children we were going to have a special story time.  The little ones excitedly followed me outside.  The children were laughing behind me and the gentle wind was blowing pleasantly as we climbed up a small hill near our classroom door, and suddenly, I had an overwhelming desire to break into "Do Re Mi" from The Sound of Music.  I was Maria, in the hills of Austria, with my precious children skipping behind me.  Hard as it was, I suppressed the urge to burst into song as I settled the children in for story time.  But a few minutes later, as we were wrapping up, another teacher walked by, and in moments we were regaling the children with "The Hills Are Alive".  I'm pretty sure the students were all very impressed. 

My 20 year old daughter is home this semester and taking her classes online. She happened to have no classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so she is an aide in our preschool those two days.  We share many of the same children, so it's fun to share cute stories about the littles.  She shared this one with our whole family:

Child, walking up to my daughter in the gym:  Miss A, do you have a broom?

My daughter:  Yes, I have one at home.

Child to friend:  SEE!  I told you she was a witch!

Then the girls skipped off, continuing to discuss their Halloween costumes. 😂

Word Up!

 My kids got me this letter board for Mother's Day, complete with this spot-on quote. :)  We've had fun changing it out over the last several months.  Here are a few of my favorites.  Any quote suggestions for us to try?

Maybe not exactly spot-on. I live with some pretty awesome people.

 But it did make me smile when I opened it. :)

I put this one up in honor of my son's high school graduation.  I have always been inspired by this quote by St. Catherine of Sienna.  We are already created just as God wants us to be!

This has long been one of my favorites, especially in the early years of parenting, when the days were so long and hard.  It's not always easy to be in the moment, but as the years pass, the more I try to be.

And this one, which I just put up last night.  My dear Anne Shirley,

 always appreciating the beauty around her, which October so gloriously provides. 

The Light Saber Devotion

Last weekend, my husband told a story in his homily about one of our boys.  As we talked about it, I realized, though it is an oft-told memory in our family, I had never blogged about it.  I did, however, write about it in a short collection of pre-Lenten devotions I wrote several years ago.  So, since this blog is the place for family memories to be immortalized, below is the original devotion about the light saber story. :)

The Lord be with You. . .Because the Force Isn't!

Reading:  For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith.  Romans 3:23-25

Many years ago, one of our sons received a light saber as a gift.  Actually, if memory serves, all three of our sons received a light saber, and I have no one to blame by myself, since I was the purchaser of these weapons.  But they're boys!  Boys need light sabers, right?  So said my husband!  That is what I told myself while standing in the toy section at Kohl's, three light sabers in hand.  I recall even calling my husband -- is it really a good idea to give three wild and crazy little boys weapons? On purpose?  He reassured me that it would be fine, so I used my Kohl's coupon and bought all three for Christmas.

Fast forward a month or two.  The boys love the light sabers.  "Thank you mom and dad, you're the best!"  They understood the rules:  no light sabers open and wielding on the main floor -- they were only allowed to be used in the basement. Things were going along pretty well and the boys were following the rules and using them responsibly.  I'm sure I was patting myself on the back about our decision.

But one winter evening, when Daddy was out of town (of course!), one of our sons was holding his (unopened, therefore legally allowed) light saber in the family room.  And for reasons still not fully known to us, the Force was in reverse and the light saber flew right out of his hand.  Through the sidelight of our picture window.  Our just-replaced-two-years-ago picture window.

Immediate tears and hysteria ensued, followed by a phone call to Daddy (which began with me saying, "Are you sitting down?" and ended with a tearful apology and forgiveness granted).

We soon got an estimate to repair the window, and it came in at $400.  Our young son wanted to make things right.  He insisted that he pay for that new window.  $400?  Even if he saved every penny for the next five years, he wouldn't be bale to pay that debt.  So he handed over what he had, which totaled about $15.

$15?  Way short of a new window!  The window had to be fixed but he couldn't pay it.  So we covered the rest.  We paid a debt our son couldn't pay.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? We Christians call it "grace".  We receive what we don't deserve.  Mercy.  "All have sinned and fall short". Way short.  But we are "justified" (made right with God) "by his grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith".

My son was grateful for our forgiveness to him, even at his young age.  As we prepare to enter Lent in just two days, may we grow increasingly grateful for this great grace that has been gifted to us:  the blood of Jesus that covers our sins.

Discussion/Reflection:  When did you receive a gift (maybe forgiveness) that you didn't deserve?  How did you react?

Prayer:  We do not deserve it, Jesus, but you give it anyway. Thank you for your grace and make our gratitude grow.  Amen.

On Time Travel

My high school English teacher asked for essays on Facebook and gave all her friends this prompt:

If you could go backwards or forwards in time, would you? Which way? What year or time period? Where geographically? Why did you choose that time and place?

My aunt wrote a lovely piece about going to church with her family when she was small, and I adored reading her memories about her mom and dad (my grandparents), especially since her dad died when she was young.  After I read her memories, I pondered the prompt myself.  What time period would I enjoy going to?

Backward to my own childhood, full of beautiful memories and happiness?  Forward to see my children and grandchildren many years from now?  Backward to a specific historic event? But while these would all be meaningful, I kept coming back to another time:  when my own children were little.  

Having big kids (and almost-big kids) is fabulous!  I've blogged time and again about how wonderful parenting teens and young adults is proving to be.  But I cannot tell a lie.  My heart still pines for some things that are behind us now, and oh how much I'd love to catch some glimpses of those days again.  In no particular order, moments I'd love to revisit:

• baby snuggles: Even in the middle of the night, while sleep deprived!  Oh how I'd love to cuddle my babes, smell their baby scent and kiss those velvety cheeks.
• toddler laughter: I'm so thankful I teach preschoolers, because I still am able to hear and soak in the euphoria of a toddler or preschooler.  How I'd love to hear my little ones cracking up over their own jokes, the hilarity of a zoo animal or while having their tummy tickled.
• wrestling:  This still happens here, and I'm super glad it does.  It was a little different back then, though, and I'd love to hear my husband announce "Switch ON!" and hear the squeals of delight as all the kids tackled daddy.
• firsts:  First steps, first baths, first words, first day of school.  So many exciting moments when you're small!  
• holding hands: While I am still grateful to have one child young enough to hold hands with her mamma, I miss the days when my two hands weren't enough.  I recall walking ahead of my children and putting my hands out behind me, palms to the rear, and knowing that within seconds, both my hands would be filled with a chubby little hand.
• Speaking of, chub:  Oh, the chubby little legs, hands, cheeks, and arms.  How I would love to stroke a chubby little cheek again or change a diaper with chubby thighs wiggling everywhere.
• Bible stories and prayers:  We still do both now, but I'd love to go back to the crazy bedtimes, full of wiggles and prayers only little ones can dream up, but sincere nonetheless.
• I love yous:  Again, I am so thankful that my kids still tell me they love me, but how I'd love to hear a little voice proclaiming it, with such euphoria.  Or to hear one of my sons say, as he so often did: "I love you, little mommy!"

I know those days were hard.  They were often really, really hard.  But they were also wonderful, and I enjoyed them so much, even amidst the exhaustion and angst I sometimes felt.  And as I said earlier, each subsequent stage has been full of its own beauty and wonder.  Perhaps, if I pondered this question again in 10-15 years,  I'd be anxious to come back to the this very time I'm in now -- of tweens, teens and young adults and everyone (mostly) at home.

But for today, I'm content in reminiscing about those early years, when things felt a bit simpler and oh-so-precious.  

On Leaving One's Second Child at College

 A week ago yesterday, we took our second child to college.  A few thoughts on that endeavor:

• People said, "Oh, I know you had a hard time taking your daughter to school, but it's much easier the second time!".  Lemme tell you something:  Those people are either lying to your face or fooling themselves, because it was Not Easier.  The days and hours leading up to his departure were full of leaky eyes on my part and nostalgic conversations between my husband and me. (Side note, I do not recommend leaving midday to take a child to college -- there are too many hours before you leave of wandering around the house, making sure you have "everything", trying not to cry, and trying to keep busy.  This is only recommended if your husband has a commitment midday and an early morning departure is unavailable.  Carry on.)  
• Watching your child walk away from you, knowing they are walking into a great big unknown, and you won't see them for weeks and weeks, is really hard.  Like, that's an understatement.  To really terrify younger parents, I will say it this way:  It feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest.  I got in the car promptly to let my husband say goodbye and to save my son from seeing his mother lose it and proceeded to sob for much of the 1:45 drive home.
• Texting is a gift to college parents.  My college daughter and I text every day, sometimes multiple times a day.  I knew this would not be the case with my son, so I have a few tricks up my sleeve, in case they are needed, to receive "proof of life" return texts.  But I'm happy to say that I have not needed to resort to them just yet, as he has been pretty good about texting us this past week.  And when he doesn't respond, I don't mind, because it means he is busy and out making friends. But as I thought when my daughter went to school, I thought now again, "my poor parents!".  My sister and I left home, and my parents had to go days and days without knowing how we were doing, and then when we did talk, it was once or twice a week, in timed phone calls so the bill wouldn't be exorbitant.  Parents today get to text whenever they want, and Facetime their college kids.  I am so very thankful for technology as a college parent! (I blogged about this when my daughter left for college as well - you can read about that here.) 
• Younger parents, I hope you're still reading this part:  While it is incredibly hard to let your child go away, I have learned now, doing it twice, that I can do it.  I know it will sting each time (I have three more drop offs to manage!), but I also know that this is what I want for my son/daughter, and that they are ready to soar!  Hearing from the newly minted college student that he/she is doing well soothes the ache tremendously, and reminds my mamma's heart that this is what should be.  That while the time for their leaving comes way too quickly for my heart, I know it is what is best for them.  And knowing that takes away a bit of the sting.
• My final thought:  My children are not alone when they are away.  With both of our kids so far, as they've chosen a college and prepared to leave home, we've actively talked with them about finding a church to attend and ways to find a faith community at their schools.  What comfort it brings me to know that they are meeting people who share their faith, and attending worship and communing with other Christians. And most importantly, God is ever present at their side.  As my husband and I pray for our children who've left the nest, we can take great comfort in knowing that God is with them even when we cannot be.  What a joy to know that they are never alone.