The other day, the daily reading in the church was the Transfiguration of Jesus. Jesus took Peter, James, and John up a mountain, and while they were there, Jesus was transfigured before them - he shone brightly, and then suddenly, Moses and Elijah were there with Jesus.
And Peter said something I've always chuckled at: "It's good, Lord, to be here. If you wish, I will put up three tents - one for you, one for Elijah, and one for Moses."
Ah, Peter! This is such an amazing moment! Let's stay here longer, forever even! I'll build some tents, we can stay and enjoy this time together and never leave!
I've always thought it was such a tender story of Peter - it almost felt childlike of him to want to stay in the moment. But this past week as I read the reading and then heard the daily homily about it again later that morning, it suddenly hit me -- I am just like Peter! When times are good, I want to grab hold and stay put. I want to build tents and stay in the moment forever!
Two of our boys are getting married in 2027 - to wonderful girls who we adore and have prayed for our boys' whole lives. Our eldest child hasn't lived at home for 8 years, and now the next two will be permanently moving out as they get married. Our fourth is in college, leaving only one at home - our baby who is somehow starting her junior year of high school.
AND I WANT TO HOLD ON! I want to make some tents real quick, and preserve what I've always known and what has been so, so good. But for the last several months, amzaingly, given my very sentimental nature, I've been at peace with this moving on. Instead of sitting in the nostalgia and being in my feels that everyting will be different, I'm instead turning my head to the joy that is to come.
The .38 Special song comes to mind - Hold On Loosely. Though it's talking about a romantic relationship, the idea is the same. We have to "hold on loosely, don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you're gonna lose control". I'm not sure I'd lose control exactly, but if I hold on too tightly to the past and what I know, I'm going to miss out on what's ahead.
Peter wanted to build tents. I want to hold on tightly, but we all have to let go of even the good moments to make space for all that is to come - the good and the hard, because we know God works it all for our good. So as we move into this new space, that's my goal - to hold on loosely - to be thankful for the past, the present, and to look to the future with joy and confidence that it will also be so, so good.