Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Love Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry



Such is the quote from the 1970s movie Love Story.  I vividly remember my mom mentioning it at some point in my childhood and calling it ridiculous.  As a child I didn't really understand what it meant, but the exchange with my mom stuck and every time I hear the phrase now I remember discussing it with her.  

And now here I am, considerably older than she was when she scoffed at the phrase.  And, as you probably also know from your experience, my mom was right.  

I live in a house with seven people, one dog and one hedgehog.  And I love all those people fiercely (I also love the dog, and I am fond of the hedgehog), and I can firmly attest to this:  just because I love them doesn't mean I should never apologize.  In fact, because I love them, they deserve my heartfelt apologies when my actions warrant it. 

I'll be the first to admit that saying "I'm sorry", especially to the ones I love isn't always the easiest.  Admitting I'm wrong - who wants to do that??   In fact, my husband is far better than I am at apologizing when he makes mistakes, which is a gift to me and our children.  But apologizing to others stirs up a vulnerability that opens doors and strengthens relationships.  I admit I'm wrong, and I love you and trust you enough to forgive me my offense.  And in so doing, the offended party is given a beautiful opportunity to forgive, just as Jesus does for us and calls us to do for one another. 

I've watched it happen in my relationships with my family and friends, and I've watched it happen between my children.  When we say we're sorry, love is actually deepened and strengthened!  Hearts are opened and forgiveness is entrusted to the other person.  

No, love doesn't mean never having to say you're sorry.  Love means trusting another person so much that you simply must ask their forgiveness.  True love means saying you're sorry.

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