Wednesday, November 30, 2022

On How To Find An Iphone

1.  Wear leggings without pockets.

2.  Juggle multiple items in hands while helping early-dismissal children get coats and backpacks on.

3.  Tell early-dismissal children goodbye and take rest of class to library.

4.  Realize at end of library time that phone is missing.

5.  Retrace steps and repeatedly ping apple watch fruitlessly.

6.  Realize that phone might have fallen into a student's backpack and gone home with the child, even though no memory of such a thing exists in one's mind.

7.  Email husband and ask him to check my location to see if phone might have left the building.

8.  Try to wait patiently for husband to email back, carry on with teaching PreK kiddos.

9.  Encounter several people in the building and hear lots of good advice and well wishes for lost phone.

10.  Finally hear back from husband and learn that phone is, indeed, about 6 miles away.

11.  Feel ridiculous.

12.  Determine which child lives at that address and call his mom, my friend.

13.  Wait while she kindly goes to check and verifies that yes, my phone is tucked away safely in son's backpack.

14.  Continue with the day, needing my phone multiple times and having to figure things out without it.

15.  Feel ridiculous.

16.  Print directions to her house from MapQuest like its 1999 because I HAVE NO PHONE OR GPS OR ABILITY TO FUNCTION APPARENTLY.

17.  Leave school in the windy, freezing cold, and promptly lose the printed directions to the wind.

18. By some stroke of luck, stomp on the papers and save them.

19.  Drive as if blind, relying on printed directions and not a disembodied voice, and wonder how we ever survived without GPS.

20.  Arrive at student's house and walk up to door, admiring all the Christmas yard decor. 

21.  Feel my watch go crazy with missed texts and calls.

22.  Greet my friend and her children and thank her profusely for helping me end this wild goose chase.

23.  Feel ridiculous.


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