I offer a few visuals from the last week(ish):
mammamilk
celebrating life with five kids - lots of laundry, lots of noise, lots of love
Tuesday, October 15, 2024
The Week In Pictures
Tuesday, October 8, 2024
A Family Reunion
Family reunions.
Saturday, July 20, 2024
Post Vacation Thoughts, Irish Style
- Beauty! Literally everywhere we looked, we saw beauty. Mountains, green pastures and farmland, cliffs, ocean views, beaches, sheep (more on them later!), castles, churches, Irish homes, Irish towns. . .the list goes on. We saw places we'd heard about - The Cliffs of Moher, The Skellig Islands (where some of Star Wars was filmed!) the Dingle Peninsula, the Ring of Kerry, Blasket Island, the Aran Islands, Limerick, Galway, and a zillion other places we'd never heard of, but turned out to be gorgeous. I just kept saying "This is amazing" and felt lame for my uninspired vocabulary, but I just had trouble summing it up into words. Ireland is a beautiful place, in every way.
- History! I was never a fan of history in school, but being in historical places has always fascinated me and Ireland didn't disappoint. We saw so many old castles/forts/homesteads (some in ruins, some somewhat restored), and learned so many things about how the people lived in them (a murder hole over the front door! ancient toilets!). Walking those old grounds/castles felt so surreal to me, knowing a tiny bit of what might have taken place where I was standing. We also saw more "modern" homes - Victorian mansions and gardens and grounds. Still so old by American standards, but not so old over there! The first Airbnb we stayed in was 300 years old and had been in the owner's family since it was built. It was quirky and awesome. And finally, we saw some beautiful churches and abbeys and cemeteries, some restored, some not, but all breathtaking in their own way.
- Family history! While we didn't choose to go to Ireland for this reason, I realized after we'd made our plans that some of my ancestors had been born in one of the towns on our route. We took a car ferry to the town of Kilrush, and we were able to go to the parish where I believe some of my ancestors attended/were baptized. The experience of being where my family had lived in the early 1800s was pretty overwhelming to me and so incredibly amazing.
- Driving! Before we left for the trip, I was pretty anxious about driving in Ireland - on the wrong side of the car and the wrong side of the road. My husband drove a manual, but we paid a little more for me to have an automatic (no one wants me to dust off my rusty 30+ year-old stick-shift knowledge AND shift with my left hand!). We decided my eldest daughter would be my husband's navigator, and our eldest son would be mine, and the other three kids switched back and forth between the cars. My son was a rockstar as he helped me navigate the streets of Ireland. And shockingly, aside from the first few minutes behind the wheel, I was remarkably calm about the driving. But lemme tell you some things about driving in Ireland - first, the streets are all "2 lane", as in cars can be driving in both directions, but aside from highways, practically none of the streets are wide enough. At best they're all about 1.5 lanes, and at worst, they're 1 lane. And every single street in the whole country is winding, and both sides of the roads have stone walls or high brush immediately next the road (shoulders are non-existent in this country). My son was so calm and patient, as he watched his life pass before him many times as I continually drove on the far left side of the road and he saw stone walls dangerously close to him as we zipped along. He quietly waved his left hand to the right the entire trip, saying "stay right, Shellerton", as we listened to the only music I had downloaded on my phone on constant repeat for 10 days -- songs I had purchased or added circa 15 years ago. Overall driving, while never a relaxing experience, wasn't as bad as I had feared, and we turned in both cars with "no new damage noted". WIN!
- Homes! Literally EVERY house in Ireland has a border - a fence at a minimum, but most with a hedgerow or stone wall. Once I noticed this fact, I started looking for one without a border and I never saw one. All the houses are built in the same style too - all the homes, new and old were cohesive. I desperately wanted to watch all the houses as we drove, but due to the teeny, tiny, curving roads, I had to miss some of them.
- Irish! Before the trip, I didn't realize how many people speak Irish in Ireland. All signage is in both languages, and we heard lots of people speaking Irish. I loved their accents when they spoke English as well - so lilting and lovely. I tried hard to pick up the accent, as I often do in a different place, but I never quite succeeded. Many of their unique phrases also made us smile - it was just so fun to listen to the people speak.
- Wildlife! My family can attest to the fact that while we did see some cattle, goats, and horses (we also had a near-hysterical puffin sighting), the real "wildlife" that I was obsessed with was the sheep. After the first day or two I fell in love with the sheep that we saw in the fields everywhere we went. We listened to them baaing and they brought me such joy. On one of our walks into an old castle area, we saw a sheep farmer and his sheepdogs herding the sheep. It was absolutely beautiful to me. The sheep followed the dogs and farmer so well. It was so incredible to see them running as the farmer and dogs herded them around the corners and into their pen. I tried to take a video and failed, much to my later sorrow. The whole thing was so moving to me, I actually cried! The sheep in Ireland will be one of my best memories (so much so that I bought several sheep and sheep related little items and will be decorating a TTTT with them in the near future. I have been made fun of for this. I DO NOT CARE. Me likey the sheepies.).
- Family! As always, the best part of any vacation to me is the time together -laughing, appreciating our surroundings, and just spending time together. I cherish that we could spend so many days in such an unbelievable place. Many times during the trip I said to our family how thankful I was that our congregation gifted this fund to us - it provided a once in a lifetime opportunity for the seven of us. I am so grateful. ♥
Tuesday, July 2, 2024
The Best of Friends
From the time my husband and I got engaged, we talked about having a big family. Interestingly enough, we always thought we'd have five kids, which we later went on to actually do! I don't know if we actually envisioned what life with lots of kids would look like, but we each came from a family of two children and were very close to our siblings. I think we really loved the idea of a loud, fun house, full of kids playing, laughing, and loving each other.
What we didn't envision was all the fighting! While my husband and his brother had their moments growing up, and my sister and I sometimes bickered, I don't think we could have pictured what a house full of kids who didn't always see eye to eye would look like. As our family grew in number and the children grew in years, so did the arguing. And the complaining. And the constant "Mom! Tell him to ______!!!!"
And oh. my. goodness. There were so many moments when dear old mom was at the end of her rope. Moments where I thought if I heard so much as one more whine and fuss about a sibling, so help me, everyone was going to regret it. Not my finest hour(s), but it was reality. Will they ever get along? I lamented to myself, to my husband, to God. I had serious concerns. After all, I knew lots of adult siblings who were not particularly close at best and actually estranged at worst. I wasn't living in lala land where my kids might fight all their childhood but then suddenly emerge as adults who were the best of pals. I knew their childhood years were critical in shaping their relationships with each other as adults.
And so I reminded them often, usually during a disagreement or squabble, or after an unkind word or uncharitable action: "Please be kind to your brother (or sister). He (or she) will be your friend for life! You won't know anyone as long as you will know your siblings! God gave you such a gift in your brothers and sisters!"
Repeat, over and over again, and then wait. Wait for years. Wait and pray, and continue to guide and encourage and offer opportunities for sibling bonding.
And then, after all of those years, I have had the joy of seeing those prayers and pleas being answered. As my kids have grown into adults and older teenagers, what I thought might never happened has indeed happened: they are friends.
With joy, I have watched them laugh together, turn to a sibling for advice during a hard time, celebrate each other's victories, and cry with each other during struggles. They often choose to be together, look to each other for answers, and stand up for each other when needed. Sure, they also gang up together to make fun of mom and dad, but we can take it because "look, honey! The kids are getting along so well while they mock us!" They have a separate group chat of just the kids where I'm sure they say all sorts of ridiculous things, but maybe also build each other up.
No one will understand their growing-up years quite like their siblings do. They can laugh about a funny video they watched when they were little, or how excited they were on Christmas morning, or how they used to play "crazy church". While my husband and I were there, our perspective was different, and they could only turn to each other to fully reminisce about their memories.
So if you're a young mom reading this, take heart. Keep encouraging and offering opportunities for your kids to grow closer. And keep praying. And then wait. And in a few years, you'll see those fledgling friendships you've been watching grow truly blossoming. And it will be beautiful.
Thursday, May 2, 2024
A Suffering Vine Makes Fine Wine
My husband shared that quippy line last week in his homily. I think he saw it when he was at a winery last year. It fit with the reading for the day from John 15:5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
Between the sermon and our small group, we explored lots from that verse, including discerning God's will for lives, but as I've pondered it all this week, the idea of the suffering vine has stuck with me. Because -- and maybe I'm not alone here -- I don't like to suffer. I prefer goodness and happiness and all-is-well, thankyouverymuch. I'm not interested in pain or sorrow, I don't even watch movies that make me cry (which I will say takes a lot of movies off the table for me, as I cry about practically everything). I want my life to be smooth, for my husband and kids not to experience heartache or tragedy, or hardship. I'm not a helicopter or lawnmower or snowplow parent, because I know that challenges are good for all of us, but I can't say I welcome real and true hardships for anyone in my family. A little hiccup now and then is good for a person, but true tribulation? No thanks.
And yet.
Years ago I ran across this quote from St. Julian of Norwich: "He said not, 'Thou shall not be tempested, thou shall not be travailed, though shall not be diseased', but He said 'Thou shall not be overcome'". I remember jotting it down as soon as I heard it. We're not promised to be without challenges, but we are promised that we shall not be overcome. We often feel like we're in the fire of struggle, and it hurts. But God tells us to remain in Him and the fire won't destroy us. And even more, the fire will refine us. Strengthen us. Cause us to grow. Help us bear fruit for Him.
I was once at a weeklong Theology of the Body conference, and at the closing worship, a gal sitting in the row with me knelt down low and held her cupped hands above her head. She was sobbing, and her entire posture and emotion were so moving to me - I can see her vividly even now, many years later. It was clear she was suffering deeply, and yet she held her hands up to Jesus, offering her suffering up to Him. Since that day, I have often knelt low beside my bed during times of trial or sorrow, with my hands open above my head, offering my suffering up just as I saw her do. There is something about the posture of the body that moves the posture of the heart. Physically offering my struggles up to Christ turns my sinful heart toward Him in a way I can palpably feel.
We're not told we won't suffer. But we are told we won't be consumed by our sufferings, and in fact, our sufferings will produce beauty and growth. Jesus will never leave us - He is the vine and we are the branches - He is literally attached to us.
Offer up your suffering to Jesus. He'll do something with it.
Wednesday, April 17, 2024
Do Not Be Afraid
A friend and I were recently talking about fear. She is a couple of years younger than me, but she was reflecting on the fact that it seems as if she is getting more fearful as she ages. Not doubting God or losing faith, but simply worrying over what might happen -- in this case to one of her children. I commiserated with her -- I know these feelings of fear all too well.
But the more I thought about it, it seems there are two sides of the coin for me. On the one hand, as I have gotten older, I do notice myself batting worry over "what could happen". As my friend and I were talking, we attributed that to the fact that the older we get, the more we have seen. The more loss and heartache we have experienced. Like many people, when I was young, I felt invincible - the world was wide open, and I thankfully hadn't experienced too much loss or tragedy. But as we all get older, we start to experience those challenges personally and see and feel those in our loved ones' lives as well. So, maybe the fear comes due to simply an awareness of what could happen that we didn't fully have when we were younger.
But on the other hand, with age I have noticed comes a deeper peace in God's good will for us. Might bad things happen? Yes. But is He with us throughout the journey? Yes. Many times as I have gotten older, I have asked God for the desires of my heart, but with a greater understanding of His will. I pray now, as I always have, that God's will be done in my life and the lives of those around me. As we all know, that can be a challenging prayer to pray. God's will might not look like my will at all. The things I think I want so badly might not be good for me (or my loved ones), and my little finite mind just can't see that. But if we truly pray for God's will in our lives, there can be no room for fear. He will give us just what we need. It might not be easy or the path we would have chosen, but it is for our good nonetheless.
This past Sunday's homily was in part about fear, and my friend and I were discussing how timely it felt to her about a concern she was having. It felt timely to me also, but perhaps because it would be timely for me any Sunday. In the homily, our pastor said "Fear suffocates faith. Fear is never from the Lord. The Lord brings you faith." I have often quoted "Get behind me, Satan!" -- sometimes with a laugh or a smile, maybe when I am reaching for a dessert I know I shouldn't be eating or something trivial like that. But there have been other times too, when I know that Satan truly is at work, casting doubt and fear into my heart, causing me to lose focus on what I know is true. Those moments of fear are Satan, trying his hardest to rip things apart as he always does.
So maybe with age can also come a renewed zeal in truly praying for God's will in my life. For putting fear behind me and praying for His peace, the peace which passes all understanding. In my quiet moments of prayer and reflection, I can hear Jesus say "Do not be afraid. Peace be with you."
Fear is not from God. God gives us peace.
. . .for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
2 Timothy 1:7
Monday, February 19, 2024
On the End of an Era
Twenty-one years ago this month, I got a packet in the mail. I was absolutely thrilled to receive it - our almost three-year-old daughter was going to start preschool in the fall at our Lutheran school. I was equal parts excited and shocked that my little baby was old enough for school. It felt like a moment - her preschool enrollment was to begin our family's journey in the Lutheran elementary school years.
Fast forward. Tomorrow is re-enrollment day again. But this year, I won't take my form to the office, enrolling 1,2,3,4, or 5 kiddos in our school Tomorrow will be a regular day for me.
It's a bit surreal to know that next year I will walk in the doors for work by myself. I won't have anyone tagging along, helping me take down chairs, waiting for me to get done after school, or popping down to my classroom midday for a hug or a visit with my littles. It feels like the end of an era.
Let's pretend I'm a swiftie - we'll call it our Lutheran School Era (I never said I was a creative swiftie!).
In this era, we've:
- gone to 11+ Christmas/Mother's Day/Thanksgiving programs per child (though many overlapped between kids), so maybe roughly 35, but who's counting?
- listened to/helped with more memory work passages than I can try to count, all of these moments being good for my own faith as I memorized Bible verses and sections of the catechism
- participated in 21 National Lutheran Schools' Weeks, complete with special dress days, which are not my strong suit, but luckily Daddy is creative
- thanked God for our children's teachers, for our church and school, and for the steadfast mission they have always had to give their students Jesus
- cried through 21 Blessing Chapels, and thus far 4 graduations, soon-to-be five (I fear some ugly crying might show up)
- helped our children work through countless struggles, hopefully teaching them valuable skills along the way
- attended about a zillion volleyball, soccer, basketball, and games, and many eternal track meets, washing stinky uniforms many nights
- watched the kids participate in spelling bees, geography bees, math competitions, music concerts, and talent shows
- prayed, and prayed and prayed